#always throw a Simpsons quote in

[gleafer]

The Conjurer: she has Hell in the palm of her hand.

New OC comic dropping on my Patreon SOOOOON! I’m telling you, there’s nothing but mayhem happening in 2024 for my saucy pigeons.

(Come on in! The water is fiiiiiine!)

[clairdeluneandmurder]

A selection of unhinged quotes from my political theory professor:

"Socrates has a tiny ghost in his head telling him when things are wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn’t tell him when things are right so he’s just really annoying."

*Brings a 1-liter bottle of sparkling water to every class and drinks the whole thing during lecture.*

“The flood happened because God looked down at earth and said ‘I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with this’, and so he nerfed us again.”

“God comes down and asks ‘Where my people at?’ And Adam and Eve are like ‘We done fucked up’.”

“Any schmuck can match their socks to their shoes but the mark of a true gentleman is matching your socks to your mood.” - said because someone insulted his neon pink socks.

“At that point, everyone else would be dead and it would just be Carl Schmidt waddling around Germany all alone.”

Prof: “Is the Illuminati still a thing with your generation?” Student: “Yeah” Prof: “The number one rule of the Illuminati is toughen the fuck up.”

“You can read Hobbes’ Behemoth if you're like a glutton for punishment or something.”

“The neat thing about soup is that you can start with the same ingredients and end up with a new soup every time.”

“If any of you steal my pies I’m going to assume you’re possessed by a demon... I made a pie yesterday. You have NO IDEA how much fruit goes into one of those fuckers.”

“The great thing about Locke is he’s dead. Once you’re a corpse you can be used for anything.”

“I am the crazy leftist professor your parents warned you about. I will make you read Marx and I will say that racism is bad. Sue me.”

"de Sade would be great at being on the internet. And I do mean that as an insult."

Brought a jar to class and put a dollar in it every time he used the word ‘neoliberal’, said he'd give us the money that goes in at the end of the semester. (we each got 3 bucks, there are 15 people in the class)

"Time is a flat circle and I am but a lonely goldfish cracker."

“By a show of hands, who is hungover today? I’ll go first to make you feel better. I am hungover today, be nice to me."

Starts lecture by writing on the whiteboard: “THE ECONOMY IS STUPID”

“Just to be clear, I’m not saying we should guillotine people who open soap shops on Etsy.”

“People don’t get my Simpsons references anymore. You kids today with your sponge bob and anime.”

“If you need help, please ask for it. The worst thing that happens is I send you a super condescending email and you’re no worse off.”

“You’re a shitty libertarian if you accidentally become a Leninist.”

“Anyone seen one of these modern garbage trucks? It’s sick right?! Pretty fucking cool!” proceeds to do an impression of a garbage truck “Marx would love to drive around a dope robot truck.”

"That’s what makes babies just awful. They don’t understand that they don’t always get what they want."

"For how many of y’all does getting stoned and staring at a wall to ponder morality sound like a great class?"

“I once had a student use the topic 'The only way to commune with the aliens is through nuclear warfare' for this assignment, nothing you write can scare me anymore."

“I'm not going to make you read this. It’s 4 volumes, 2500 pages, and mostly about how linen is produced. Moments of brilliance though.”

“I think we should replace the death penalty with public humiliation. ”

"Crude Freudism will get you 80% of the way there 90% of the time."

"I’m going to throw my uncle under the bus here… Actually, I fucking hated that guy and he’s dead so whatever."

"The best thing you can do for your future happiness is to never think about politics. …I say to a bunch of people enrolled in a 400-level political theory class. Y’alls mental health is fucked I guess."

"God tells you not to do the one Bad Thing and Eve is just so sexy that man has to do the one Bad Thing."

"I haven’t worn a 1950’s bra but I’ve heard they’re very uncomfortable. …Not that I’m opposed, I just don’t have the access and I've been banned from three museums so far."

"Course evaluations are available now y’all. I don’t care what you say about me or the class, but make sure you mention how great my hair is."

"Identity politics can be useful, but I think we’ve probably taken it too far since now we’re at the point where Kid Rock is shotgunning 18 packs of bud light on Twitter as a form of protest."

"We basically live in an aristocracy where you can vote. Sorry to disappoint you if you think Joe Biden is a communist."

"Do you know why we didn’t celebrate international workers day on May first? Because America says fuck you, that’s why."

[imaginesxthevamps]

I have a request please!

Brad gives you that round pendant necklace he always wears on Valentine’s Day because he wants something of his to be with you all the time.

Maybe fans notice it even though your relationship isn’t public?

I want to be with you | Brad Simpson

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: none

Tags: Brad Simpson, The Vamps, imagine, fanfiction, fluff, a lot of fluff

Date: 25/04/2021

A/N: First of all I'm so sorry I wrote this so late🥺 I hope you enjoy, I made it some soft Brad! Thanks for your request! Lots of love💕

____________________

You wake up to the feeling of two lips against your neck, leaving tingles on that place.

"Good morning baby", you hear Brad say in a croaky voice.

You turn around to look at him. His chocolate curls are all over his face, covering his beautiful brown eyes. A smile is playing on his lips. His hand is resting on your hip, his fingers making circles on it.

"Good morning", you say while you brush his hair away from his face so you can look into his eyes.

"Happy valentine's", he says

"Happy valentine's", you say back connecting your lips with his for a passionate but raw kiss. His lips don't leave yours for another few minutes until you hear a knock on the door of the apartment.

"That will be our breakfast, stay here", Brad says with a smile and jumps out of your shared bed. On his way to the door he put on a bathrobe so he won't stand there in his boxers.

It doesn't take long before he's back with a big box in his hands and two glasses. He places the box in front of you sitting back next to you.

"I couldn't let you starve in the morning, could I?", he says and opens the box, revealing all the good food.

"You're the best", you say, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

After breakfast, when you're both dressed, Brad takes you to all the places you love in London. He knows how much you love London and he would show it a thousand times to you.

After you've strolled through London the whole afternoon, he brings you to a restaurant. It's a cozy one with a terrace on the balcony that looks out on the Thames and a few of London's most famous buildings.

The waiter brings you to a table closest to the railing so you have the most beautiful view.

"I asked for this place specifically", Brad says when you're sitting down.

"This is so beautiful", you say, looking to the water and all the buildings with all the little lights as it's evening and it's dark.

The waiter comes back with the menus, giving one to each of you. He already takes your orders to drink. Brad thought of ordering a bottle of wine and some water and you agree.

"What are you going to eat?", Brad asks.

"I'm not sure, they have so much good things. Although I think I'm going for a pasta as the pasta lover I am", you say with a wink.

Eventually you decided to take the pasta of the house and Brad takes a pasta carbonara.

Both of you talk about all the things you've seen today as if it's the first time you've seen but actually you already saw it a dozen times. When the food arrives there is falling a peaceful silence as both of you enjoy your food.

"What did you think of today?", Brad asks before stuffing some tiramisu in his mouth.

"It's amazing, I'm lucky to have a boyfriend like you", you say, laying your hand on top of his.

He smiles at you, his chocolate brown eyes have a sparkle of happiness in them. That's what you've fallen for, his beautiful brown eyes with happiness in them. They enchant you, making you believe everything is possible.

"Oh, I still have something for you", Brad says suddenly.

"You really didn't have to do that", you say, feeling a little guilty.

He takes a box out of the pocket of his jeans and lays it in front of you.

"It's not an engagement ring although I really want to marry you one day", Brad adds to it.

His words are making your hearth flutter, he wants to marry you one day. It's not that you haven't thought about it since you two are already dating for 2 years in secret but now the words were on the table.

You shake the thought of marrying Brad aside and and open the box, revealing the necklace with the round pendant he is always wearing. It's only now that you notice he hasn't been wearing it all day.

"I can't take this, it's yours", you say surprised although you're so happy with this present.

He lays his hands on yours, intertwining your fingers.

"Baby, take this. I want that there is something of me with you when I'm on tour. I want to be with you, always", he says.

Your eyes are full of tears at how thoughtful he is.

"Okay", you answer, not able to form more words as a tear escapes your eye.

"Don't cry love, this was supposed to make you happy", Brad says with worry in his voice.

"These are tears of happiness Brad, you don't know how much I love you", you say, more tears streaming down your face.

"I do know that baby, I do and I love you too, so much y/n", he says while wiping away your tears with his thumbs.

He gets up and takes the necklace to put it on you.

"It looks way better on you", Brad says with a smile and takes a picture of you with his phone and he shows you.

His necklace is hanging proudly around your neck. Your smile is wide, showing how happy you are in that moment.

"Can you send it to me?", you ask and he nods.

After you finished your desserts you make your way back home, hand in hand.

Once home both of you make yourself ready to go to bed as it's already late. While Brad is still in the bathroom you pick up your present for him from your secret hiding place. Because of all the events of today you didn't had the chance to give it to him. You hide it for a little while under the covers while you're waiting for him in bed. In the meantime you decide to post the picture of you and the necklace on Instagram. You're aware of the risk that people will find out that you're dating but you don't care, you're too happy in this moment to let it be ruined by fans.

When Brad is ready he throws himself on the bed next to you, making you laugh.

"I also have something for you", you announce.

You get your present and give it to him, watching him getting excited.

"Open it", you say with a smile.

He opens the wrapping paper, revealing a photo book.

"I printed all the pictures of us and collected them in this book, I didn't thought about it the same way you did but you can also take this on tour so when you have a bad moment that you can look at it", you say, "I also added a funny quote that one of us said on these moments".

Brad takes a look on every picture, on every memory you two shared these last two years.

"I love you", he says and starts kissing you, his lips moulding together with yours.

Your phone keeps buzzing so you break the kiss to take a look why it's blowing up. You find out it's the picture. Fans have noticed it and keep sharing the picture while tagging you. You also got a few messages from friends. "You're wearing his necklace?! You go girl, you two are adorable!", your best friend had sent you.

"Well I think everyone knows it now", you say.

"I don't care", Brad says with a smile and starts kissing you again, "as long as I'm with you, I'm happy".

____________________

The Vamps requests open

New Hope Club requests closed

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 111 - Family Business

Julia: It’s not a… Trevor doesn’t like using the book. I don’t either. Makes me feel off. Dead should stay dead.

"Dead should stay dead" is a very apt statement for an avatar of the-process-of-methodically-making-things-dead but also I can't say that I disagree, exactly.

Gerard: Nice lighter. You a spider freak, then?

Jon should perhaps have at some point gone "Huh." about the mysterious lighter, shouldn't he? But then again, neither did I.

Gerard: Yeah, the world changes in horrible ways. For you. I’m a book.

This seems perfectly fair, you know!

Gerard: She travelled light. Left things behind.

Oh, ouch, the tone he says that in makes me want to give him a hug, even if he is currently a book. Yeah, she left "things" behind for sure.

Gerard: Well, Fairchild’s just a name, they’re not really family. The Lukases, though, yeah. Thing is, it’s harder than it looks. What’s out there… doesn’t care about blood. Jon: Well, I-I mean, except for the vampires…

I want to say "Oh, Jon" but I can't guarantee I wouldn't have made the exact same dumb comment.

But mum didn’t need the help, and after me she wasn’t able to have kids again, so she killed him in his sleep to practice her bookbinding. I guess she failed. I always thought he was in here, but when I eventually got hold of it, there wasn’t a page in there. - Gerard

That's because Gertrude did for him what Jon later does for Gerard. Weird sort of parallel, that, the father and son, both rescued from undeath by the Archivist of their time.

We met with things that almost made me throw up, I was so afraid, and she’d talk to them like old friends. It was awful, but I suppose in many ways, it worked. Whenever I tried to run away the ‘real’ world seemed so… ignorant I could never be a part of it. So I did my best to find my place within my mum’s world.

God, he was just so fucked up from the start, his whole life tied to the Entities - his death, too - even though he tried so hard to make his own choices.

And honestly, there was a part of me which thought a life in prison was an alright price for freedom.

Damn, that's a gut punch of a line.

Gerard: And if you’re having an omelette for lunch, not every moment is spent eating the omelette. Some things take preparation. Especially if, you know, your spatula has a bit of free will.

I love this run-away metaphor, I really do. Especially the spatula with free will.

Gerard: A lot of it’s kind of arbitrary. I mean, why are navy blue and sky blue both called blue, when pink’s an entirely different colour from red? Y’know? I don’t know, that’s just how it works.

It's kind of funny in an almost-too-perfect way that this is the example that Gerard picks because colours are one of THE go-to examples people always go to for unexpected cultural-linguistic differences and the way they change how we perceive the world. The blue thing, for instance: Russian actually DOES have two entirely separate words for dark blue and light blue (maybe other languages do too, I just happen to know some Russian). I wonder if Johnny knew that when he was writing these lines and this was perhaps deliberate.

Gerard: O-Of course, with these things it’s not a simple spectrum, y’know, it’s more like – Jon: An infinite amorphous blob of terror bleeding out in every direction at once. Gerard: Now you’re getting it. Jon: Like colours, but if colours hated me.

If I add a "Favourite quotes" segment to an episode it's mostly for things that need very little context to feel like pieces of poignant writing and this needs a lot of context but if it weren't for that, the description of "Like colours, but if colours hated me" would DEFINITELY go into the favourite quotes segment!

Gerard: Needing to know, even if your discoveries might destroy you.

An explanation of an almighty terrifying fear Entity. Also an explanation of the reason I try and mostly fail to keep out of the comment section.

Jon: Which is… spiders a-and control. Your, your will not being your own.

I've said this before but the Web always struck me as a bit funny in that way. There's that deep existential fear of being manipulated and controlled from the outside ... and also spiders. Someone needs to make one of those Marge Simpson "I just think they're neat" memes except with the labels "The Web" and "Spiders".

Jon: Yeah, I-I mean, are we really so afraid of being… eaten? Of our bodies being all twisted up, i-i-is that… I mean, some people sure, but… how is it one of the fourteen great fears? Gerard: What? You think people are so special it’s only our fear that counts?

Oh my god, the revelation that some of the fears originate from animals just left me open-mouthed when I first heard it. I'd never even considered it and it's SUCH A GENIUS IDEA! IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE! It's an animal fear and it gets extra-super-weird when it hits humans!

Jon: I suppose. And again, when an animalistic fear touches a human… Gerard: You get the Predator’s granddad out there.

Pffft. I love it. Trevor "The Predator's Granddad" Herbert.

Gerard: They… kind of ‘shift’ the world, just enough for the Power to come through. Merge with reality. Some say, or well, they guess, that it could bring other entities through with them.

Oh god, I didn't realise they seeded this idea THIS EARLY ON!

Gerard: Well, think of it this way: right now all the entities have to act like a hunter, they pick off the weak ones around the edges, the ones that wander too close, and the rest of the time they have to just graze on whatever fear we all passively give away. Jon: And if one of the rituals succeeds? Gerard: The world becomes a factory farm.

... gotta hand it to Gerard, his analogies WORK. Perhaps a little too well, that image really hits the target.

Gerard: Said she thought she’d found him. I tracked him down, but it… well, it wasn’t him. (...) It was just some pathetic old man. Couldn’t have been him.

How on earth does Jon maintain enough of a pokerface to not make Gerard suspicious right then. I mean, this is amazing. Gerard kicked the shit out ouf ACTUAL LEITNER ("Three years ago, I made the mistake of spending a full night outside my safehouses. I was almost beaten to death by an angry goth.") and concluded that he couldn't possibly be Leitner because the man responsible for filling so much of his life with fear and misery surely had to be IMPRESSIVE and POWERFUL, not just some whiny old jerk.

My impression of this episode

This episode is very info-dumpy, but somehow it bothered me a lot less than the other info-dump episode (the Leitner episode). Perhaps it's just because I enjoyed Gerard's voice (again expressed personality rather than voice-voice, I feel the need to clarify this every time because it gets confusing when you're talking about a podcast rather than a book) more and also because learning about the fear categories was genuinely a fun revelation. I mean, give me categories to play with and I will absolutely play with the categories! (Me and most of the rest of the fandom...) All in all, it was a fairly skillful info-dump actually, even though it was very clearly a bit dumpy. Aside from the infodump there's also a lot of plot development, though, and Gerard's statement is genuinely interesting. Damn, I feel bad for Gerard, he was just so fucked from the start.

[goneseriesanalysis]

Astrid Ellison

So here are my opinions on Astrid Ellison from book 1. Astrid was the character on which my opinion changed the most, which is why it’s taken me so long to get my thoughts together. Sorry for the length again but it seems I have a talent for ✨rambling✨

Spoilers for Gone by Michael Grant down below

Original Opinion: Astrid was one of my least favourite characters. I remember finding her irritating and self-righteous and honestly couldn’t think of a single good thing to say about her.

New Opinion: Astrid was my favourite character in this book. She had moments where I found her slightly irritating - but I think that was Michael struggling to right a smart character more than anything else. She was so kind and brave and not at all like the emotionless and manipulative girl that I remember hating at the grand age of 14. 

1.) Astrid’s appearance - Astrid is one of the better described characters in Gone. In the first chapter we find out that she “had shoulder-length blonde hair, and liked to wear starched white short-sleeved blouses that never failed to catch Sam’s eye.” This description immediately establishes her as Sam’s love interest, from her being the first character to get a proper description to Sam’s clear infatuation with her. This is perhaps one of the reasons why I’m not a huge fan of their relationship – it was obvious from page 3 that they were going to end up together.  We get three other main descriptions of Astrid throughout the book that really stood out to me:

“Her normally sharp, discerning blue eyes were wide, with way too much white showing” – Chapter 1

“She sat in the big white wicker rocker with her feet propped up on the railing. Her bare legs were blazing white in the sunshine.” – Chapter 20

“The starched white blouses of the pre-FAYZ had given way to t-shirts” – Chapter 28

What really stood out to me in these descriptions is the repeated use of the colour white. Now, in religion white is symbolic of faith, innocence and sacrifice, all of which really seem to fit the characterisation of Astrid. She has a lot of faith in the beginning, not only in God but also in herself. She is relatively confident in who she is and in her place in the world. As the book continues, however, she begins to lose this faith. As she sacrifices more of her time to the care of Little Pete (I really don’t like how Michael constantly treated him as a burden but that is a topic for another post), she becomes less and less confident in her faith and begins to resent what she has become. 

As for Astrid’s innocence, I believe this is more of an insight into how Sam views her as opposed to how she actually is. Astrid is intelligent and brave and caring (although a lot of the time I think she struggles to show it) – but is she innocent?? I don’t think so, at least not in the traditional sense. She has grown up as a parent, been forced to mature faster than other children her age. She is Little Pete’s constant defender, and I think in this way Sam underestimates her. As the book continues, he begins to see this, with her staple white blouses transforming into t-shirts, he begins to see her for who she is. 

2.) Astrid’s Personality and Character - Aside from Astrid’s intelligence and religious beliefs, Astrid has a very well-rounded personality. She is brave and kind-hearted but seems somewhat socially inept, meaning that the softer side of her personality is often hidden by her cool exterior. (I think there is a possibility that Astrid is autistic-coded but I don’t know enough about the topic to develop this point past mere observation). She takes on the role of a mother to Little Pete and this calmer, kinder, and more protective side of Astrid is often shown in small moments throughout the books. Astrid is the first person to offer comfort to Quinn when he realises his parents are missing, and it is only once she does this that Quinn finally allows himself to fall apart (Chapter 2). She places a hand on his shoulder and for the first night is the one who hears out Quinn’s wild theories, instead of shooting them down (cough cough Sam). 

Her relationship with Little Pete is a complicated one. While she often seems resentful about her new position as a guardian, it feels like her resentment towards Little Pete is a way for her to mask her anger at things that are beyond her control. She is furious that the FAYZ has left her without parents, and is even more furious because she can’t truly understand why it has happened. So, to stop these feelings of helplessness, she targets her resentment towards the person she is closest do (as most of us unfortunately do when we feel this way). But despite her anger, her unconditional love always wins out. And this is one of the things I absolutely adored about her when re-reading. Despite her often feeling trapped by her new role in Little Pete��s life, she is still willing to distance herself from Sam, Edilio and Quinn (who are, as far as we know, the closest thing she has to friends) in order to keep him safe. She realises that Little Pete caused the FAYZ in chapter 11 and, even when Sam confronts her, her first move is to defend LP – she is not concerned with what they think of her, only with the safety of her brother. 

Further on in the book, after Drake forces her to call Little Pete a slur, she is horrified with herself. She gives almost no thought to the pain she went through stating that “now she was far more angry at herself than she had ever been at him.” I think this really just shows how devoted Astrid is to her brother and, when you remember that she is only 14 it really is amazing how strong she forces herself to be for him. I began to notice on this read through just how much she neglects her own emotions and wellbeing in favour of protecting others (she even shields LP with her own body when the church collapses on top of them and we get no indication as to how injured SHE is). Once again her thoughts are only on her brother. While I wish she had made more of an effort to communicate with Little Pete in a way that he could understand (the few times she does this in the book, he does respond well and it would have been interesting to develop this side of their relationship more, rather than just the one sided protector/protected dynamic), when you think about her age and the trauma that she must be experiencing, I think she does exceptionally well to stay so kind, patient and collected for the majority of the time.

 One thing that really surprised me the most when revisiting Astrid’s character was her immense bravery. This is a huge part of her character that I had completely forgotten about, leading me to remember her as little more than a typical damsel in distress. While she often uses her intelligence as a defence mechanism, such as in Chapter 15 when she stands up to Diana, in times when a verbal smack down is inappropriate, she is perfectly willing to put herself in danger in order to protect those that she cares about. We first see this in chapter 10 when she breaks up the fight on the highway. We see it again when Panda and Quinn attack Little Pete, with one of my favourite quotes of the whole book, “Did you throw a rock at my brother?’ Astrid yelled. Fearless in her outrage.” It reminds me so much of the Frankenstein quote “I am fearless and therefore powerful” and was the point in the book where my past prejudices got completely wiped away and were replaced by my new love for her. She cares so much about people, and gets hardly any recognition for it. I just want to give her a hug 😥

Another thing I noticed about Astrid, which I thinks fit’s in really well with the idea of her being this awkward social outcast (I mean did she even have any friends before??) is that while many pop culture references are made by a variety of characters, Astrid makes multiple references to historical figures:

“Patrick was named for Patrick Star, the not-very-bright character on Spongebob” – Lana’s pov Chapter 2

“It’s like a roadrunner cartoon” – Quinn Chapter 9

“I’ll bet you’re one of those brainy Lisa Simpson types” – Diana Chapter 14

“Let me guess, you’re secretly a wizard who was raised by muggles.” – Sam Chapter 21

“And this isn’t exactly the time for me to consult Yoda on how to use my power” – Sam Chapter 26

“..an ornate, heavy iron thing that Coates kids joked was the tenth Nazgul” – Jack’s pov Chapter 32

“Too bad Dr Phil’s not around.” – Diana 39

VS

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” – Astrid Chapter 5

“To understand this you’d have to be Einstein or Heisenburg or Feynman, on that level” – Astrid Chapter 13

“Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. I forgot who said it.” – Astrid Chapter 17

I don’t have much else to say about this other than I find it quite interesting and I think it perfectly highlights how Astrid never quite fits in, no matter how hard she tries. 

3.) Astrid’s Intelligence - Astrid’s intelligence is mainly used for world building throughout the first book. It is from Astrid that we learn the full story of the power plant incident, learn that the barrier is a dome and are introduced to the idea of animal mutations, as well as many theories about the outside world/ what caused the FAYZ (although those last theories are a misdirection on her part). This works well for the most part as it means that important information can be spaced evenly throughout the book, without the need for info-dumps. However, sometimes Michael’s attempts to showcase Astrid’s intelligence were, I think, a little on the nose and took me out of the story. The worst offender for this, in my opinion, is in chapter 2 with the line “Is that meant to be a pro forma reassurance or a specific commitment?” This is a really nit-picky complaint but this line just really bugged me as it seemed like he was making her smart for the sake of being smart and it kind of came off as annoying. I know one of her character flaws is her social awkwardness but this just felt too much. I love the way she over-explains and over-analyses things when she’s nervous, and I think her constant referencing to things that the other characters just don’t understand perfectly demonstrate this flaw, but lines like this seemed a little irritating and obnoxious. 

The secondary use for Astrid’s intelligence in this book is as her primary line of defence. Her intellect is something that she prides herself on, but it is also something that separates her from everyone else. People are intimidated by her, and, as a result, she has learned to use her intelligence as a weapon when necessary. This is clearly seen in chapter 14, when Diana tries to intimidate her and Astrid immediately starts asking Diana questions about the cause of the FAYZ (questions that she knows Diana has no answer to). It’s later seen in chapter 22. When Drake begins to bully Astrid into calling LP a slur, she fights back by explaining that said slur is outdated; explaining the meaning of it; and then explaining how it does not fit LP anyway. While she knows that she cannot use her physical strength, her intellect is something that she can weaponise in certain situations in order to protect herself and those she loves. Her proficiency in this tactic also leads me to believe that Astrid has probably been in similar situations before. Everyone in Perdido Beach seems to know about LP. Is that why she has no friends?? Has she distanced herself from her peers in order to protect LP from their ignorance, whether consciously or not??

4.) Astrid and Religion - I don’t have as much to say about this, as I’m not religious myself and have very little understanding of Christianity (Or Catholicism – I’m actually not sure which Astrid is meant to be so if anyone knows I would appreciate it), but I feel like this is a such a huge part of who Astrid is that I had to at least mention it. One thing that I do like is Astrid’s seemingly constant battle between her scientific beliefs and her religious beliefs. While she does believe in God, she won’t accept him as an explanation for the FAYZ, and still looks for a scientific answer. Her relationship with religion seems to act as more of a moral guideline rather than a fundamental belief system. She looks to God for guidance and support in times of trouble, such as at Bette’s funeral (Chapter 17), as she is being chased by Drake (Chapter 24) and when the church is collapsed on top of her (Chapter 45) and seems to be convinced that her morality is directly tied to her faith. However, she relies on facts (things she can explain and control) for true comfort, and doesn’t allow her faith to interfere with her action. I think these ideas are perfectly encompassed by this quote from Chapter 40 “No. I believe in free will. I think we make our own decisions and carry out our own actions. And our actions have consequences. The world is what we make it. But I think sometimes we can ask God to help us and He will.” – And I am quite excited to see how her faith/ loss of faith changes her perceptions in the later books. 

5.) Astrid’s Role in The Book - For the most part, Astrid has three main roles in this book:

- To act as LP’s protector

 -To act as a source of plot-relevant and world building information to the reader

-To be Sam’s main motivation is becoming the leader

And this, in my opinion, is a phenomenal waste. Astrid was the perfect candidate for the leader of the FAYZ, and giving the role to Sam made no sense?? I think what Michael was trying to do was suggest that Sam had to be the leader instead of Astrid because, while Astrid is the intelligent one who knows how to work people, Sam is the one who people look to when things go wrong. (Think of Katniss and Peeta’s dynamic in The Hunger Games). But, it just doesn’t work. For one, we know that what the people of Perdido Beach think has very little effect on leadership. There was no uproar when Caine took over. Were people scared and upset?? Yes. Did they run to Sam’s aid and rebel against Caine?? No. So why should it matter whether they prefer Sam to Astrid – Sam could still be the hero without being the leader. In fact, I think it would have made both characters so much better if this was the case. Also we know that in times of crisis, people DO look to Astrid. Albert’s cat anyone?? Furthermore, Astrid’s ability to use her intellect to play on people’s emotions is a much better match for Caine’s easy charm than Sam with his flame throwers. I mean please. Astrid has a cool and intimidating exterior that actually hides a well of deep emotions that she can pull from and use to manipulate people into doing things they never thought they were capable of (we mostly see this work with Sam in this book during the fire, chapter 4, and the first time he controls his powers, chapter 28). Caine has an easy going and charming exterior that hides his lack of empathy, allowing him to use people for his own gain as he sees them as expendable. They are such PERFECTLY MATCHED OPPOSITES. But no. Michael wanted the leader to be Sam because?? Fire?? Ugh. Even when the question of who will take over if Sam poofs comes up in chapter 40, NOBODY EVEN MENTIONS HER. Astrid suggests that Edilio takes over and that’s that. (With that being said I do find it interesting that Astrid basically chose both the leader AND the backup leader but still. Let her live up to her full potential Michael.)

I think I’ve pretty much covered the first two bullet points in other sections but I’ll just quickly mention her part in Sam becoming the leader. It’s very clear from the fire onwards that Sam being in charge is Astrid’s main goal. Is this so that Sam can protect her?? Maybe. Idk. But it kind of frustrates me that she is broken down into Sam’s love interest towards the end, rather than coming into her own role. We are constantly shown that she is the main reason that Sam is becoming the leader, and this is even explicitly stated when Sam tells his mother/the gaiphage that he has “someone I have to stay here for” – chapter 46. I think the book should have ended with Astrid taking on her own role (as the leader obvs but I would have settled for something smaller or, you know, ANYTHING), instead of her just becoming Caine’s human shield. I do have more to say on this topic but I feel like it falls more into the relationship category so I’ll leave that for a later post.

And I’m not even going to talk about her powers past saying: what was the reason?? As far as I can gather Michael wanted a reason for Astrid being so insistent about Sam taking on the role of leader and so gave her a weird power and then decided hmm no. 

Thank you so much for reading and I would love to hear all of your thoughts on Astrid. I think I’m going to do Caine next but who knows.

[dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad]

season 6 thoughts

hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that

like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow

the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt

i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger

CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF

AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO

AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well

and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.

I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is

and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed

bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series

Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…

SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING

Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho

EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD

The return of Queefburglar69

I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on

Todd is babey.

Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!

I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.

OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.

todd is so fucking stupid i love him

ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a  lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory

THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale

I have… mixed feelings about the haircut

Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development

and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?

its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita

GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH

her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.

and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma

noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE

netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?

OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)

and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.

you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)

the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.

anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide

[au10]

Eastwood

So I watched all the westerns by Eastwood. Below you’ll find my list of what I’d say are his best to not necessarily worst just not great. Keep in mind that this list is just my opinion and yours very well may differ and hey that’s great. Also keep in mind there will be spoilers but to be fair the majority of these movies are older than me. I would also like to point out that I didn’t view Rawhide as I really didn’t seem like something I’d like. The list is as best as I can tell are all of his westerns. Some are kind of iffy as I don’t consider them a western. 

http://most-wanted-western-movies.com/clint-eastwood-westerns/

1.”Unforgiven” 1992

 My original pick was going to be “For a Few dollars more”. I re-watched Unforgiven again and have decided that Unforgiven is his best western. Made in 1992. It features Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman and Richard Harris. There might even be more stars but those are the ones that stood out to me. The plot basically goes like this. William Munny a ruthless killer back in the day settles down with a woman who changes his life. He gave up his killer ways. The wife is already dead when the movie starts and Munny stays on the good path for lack of better phrasing. I don’t want to spoil to much more but needless to say a large bounty put on some ruffians leads to some nice action. 

I love the soundtrack to this movie. Well at least one song in particular and that’s Claudia’s theme. You can YouTube if you wish. I think it’s really great. 

A couple of quotes that I enjoyed. 

“ I've killed women and children. I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you done to Ned”

.”It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.“

2. “For a few dollars more” 1965

 This is the sequel to a “Fistful of dollars”. It’s part of the famous dollar trilogy movies. Made in 1965 Eastwood portrays the man with no name. I really like  Lee Van Cleef as Col. Douglas Mortimer. It’s a revenge type of western. Both Cleef and Eastwood characters are pretty much bounty hunters. Cleef has an entirely different motive for his actions though. They seem to have great chemistry together too. I also like the dialogue between them as well. Clint Eastwood's character calls Lee Van Cleef's character "old man", while Van Cleef's character calls Eastwood "boy". Once more I love the music plays when the pocket watch is opened up. 

3.” A fist full of dollars.” 1964  

The beginning if you will of the the man with no name trilogy or dollars trilogy which ever you prefer. The dollars trilogy is what you call a spaghetti western. “ Spaghetti westerns were not rated highly due to their low budgets, over the top violence and inferior art work. But, these Spaghetti Westerns changed that perception forever. Director Sergio Leone gave one after another hit and this trilogy made Clint Eastwood a mega star. “ Some people don’t like them or they find them to corny. Each to their own. I loved the movies. My father pointed out to me one of the things that bugged him was the constant camera cuts to the other characters in the film. It especially focuses on their eyes. I never noticed it until he pointed it out. I do love the scene where he confronts the bullies/bad guys. On his way to them. He passes by the undertaker and tells him to get three coffins ready. After the shootout he passes back by the undertaker and tells him my mistake 4 coffins.

4. “The Good, The bad and the Ugly.” 1966 

The last of the dollars trilogy. A lot of people will say that this is the best of the three movies. Like the previous  film it also stars Lee Van Cleef. This time though he is one of the villain’s. It’s a good movie. I enjoyed  Eli Wallach as Tuco. Once more you have the music on point with  The Ecstasy of Gold. I heard that song years earlier when Metallica would use it. My last thought on this trilogy is I do love how Eastwood is always smoking those little cigars. I have read though he actually hated them.

“ You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig. “

5. “Two Mules for Sister Sara” 1970

This one is a film I really liked. It doesn’t seem to be as serious as the previous I’ve listed above. It actually has quite a few comedic moments in it. I think one of the best parts of the movie is after Hogan (Eastwood) saves Sara from impending doom. She gets dressed and comes back out in her nun gear. Once Hogan realizes she is a known his expression is great then he exclaims “Jesus Christ”. I noticed this movie had blood in it. A lot of the earlier ones don’t. One guy gets his arm cut off and one takes a machete to the face. It’s a good movie and I enjoyed it. I should note the soundtrack or at least one song they play over at times in the film is a play on the title. It sounds like a mule actually braying. Pretty nifty. 

6. “Pale Rider” 1985

Another good movie. Eastwood is just known as the preacher in this movie. He helps out a prospect town from becoming a mining town. When the prospectors will not give up their land. A marshal and his deputies are sent in to get prospectors out. It’s hinted at that the marshal may know the preacher form the way he reacts after told his description. This is definitely one of my favorites though. It does get a little weird with the preacher having intercourse with a guy’s girlfriend. The action is great though. It should be noted that it’s been told that Eastwood’s charter is a ghost in this film. Richard Kiel is in this movie as well. He is a well established actor. Most likely known for playing Jaws in Moonraker. 

7. Outlaw Josey wales 1976

A lot of people like this movie. It’s Eastwoods only PG rated western. It’s once more a revenge type western. Josey’s family is murdered by the Union army and he joins a confederate group to get his revenge. I think one of the best parts in the movie is when Josey shoots the rope holding a ferry going across the river. Some of the Union soldiers horses fall into the river preventing them from reaching Wales. This movie is said to be George Strait’s favorite. I did find it funny that the old man in charge of the ferry was playing to both sides. If you were a Confederate he would sing “Dixie” if you were a Union solider he would sing “Battle hymn of the republic” Ever the opportunist I suppose. 

"Well Mr. Carpetbagger, we got something in this territory called a Missoura boat ride!"

"Well are ya' gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?"

8.”High plains drifter” 1973

This movie could be almost a part of the man with no name trilogy. It’s just not as good. I liked the midget character named Mordecai . He is one of the best in the movie and funny. This is one of the movies where it’s possible that the stranger (Eastwood’s character) could be a ghost. Some people say he is the sheriff’s brother. Eastwood has said that himself. Then again some people say he is the ghost of the sheriff himself. It’s up to the viewer and how you choose to interpret it. This movie also marks the first movie Eastwood directed that was a western.

“You're going to look pretty silly with that knife sticking out of your ass.“

9. “Hang’em High” 1968

This was Eastwoods first major role in America. The Dollars trilogy had yet to come out over here in America. Jed  (Eastwoods character) is wrongfully hanged by a posse. He naturally seeks revenge after being rescued. He becomes a Marshal and winds up bringing some of the posse to justice. It also stars Pat Hingle. I really only know him from Tim Burton’s Batman. He played Commissioner Gordon. 

10. “Joe Kidd” 1972

To be honest with you this movie really doesn’t do anything for me at all. It’s not a bad movie but it’s not one that really captivates me either. It stars Robert Duvall as a rich/wealthy landowner trying to push Mexicans off of their land. He hires Eastwood’s character named Joe Kidd. It does have some decent moments. A pretty cool scene shows Kidd taking out a gunman upon a rock. The final fight is also pretty neat where Kidd drives a train through the bar.

Honorable Mentions: 

1.”Bronco Billy” 1980

This movie was on the list and I viewed it. I liked it. Eastwood plays a carnival showman. It’s your typical story of guy and girl don’t get along. Then as the movie progresses they start to get along and wind up with one another. It’s not a western but it has the theme. It does have  Scatman Crothers in it as Doc. Throw in a crooked lawyer and a crooked husband and this is the movie you have. 

2. “Paint your wagon” 1969 

This set during the gold rush. It is a musical though and you can get the soundtrack on itunes. I heard about this movie from The Simpsons years ago. It doesn’t have a western feel to me. Eastwood plays Pardner. It’s a cool little musical. It’s an interesting movie though. A Mormon has two wives and he sells one. Well Pardner and his partner Ben rum son played by Lee Marvin buys her. Elizabeth the wife that was purchased basically has two husbands. It’s really a good movie. My favorite song being “Wand’rin Star”

3. “The Beguiled” 1971

They had this movie on the list and there again I witched it. It’s certainly not a western. It’s okay. Eastwood kind of plays a bad guy in it but only to survive. Set in the Civil War era. He is an injured Union solider rescued by a little girl. She takes him to an all girls school. It should be noted that this is the only movie in which a character portrayed by Eastwood dies. 

[oneweekoneband]

Album Minus Band

I didn’t actually discover BTMI! until the last couple years of their career, around 2010. Nevertheless, once I had read a little online of what they were about, I decided to dive into their discography at what seemed like the most natural starting point with their first album, 2004’s Album Minus Band. As a big fan of Green Day and hardcore punk that had just discovered ska-punk a couple summers prior, I loved it pretty much instantly. From the political opening barrage of “Blow Your Brains Out On Live TV!!!” (addressed to Bush) to the chiptunes-on-steroids synths of “FRRREEEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIRRRRRRD!!! FRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIIIRRRD!!!!” (a collaboration with Laura Stevenson against the men who harassed her when she played live), it was pretty much everything teenage me could have wanted from a modern punk album.

It’s hard for me to listen back to it without some kind of cloud of nostalgia for those days at this point (which is probably true for most of BTMI!’s music). That being said, even if I try to be as objective as possible in my judgment, I’d say Album Minus Band holds up pretty damn well. It feels like more than just another ska-punk album: there are songwriting flourishes that keep listeners on their toes, like the constant flipping between lo-fi minimalism and maximalist distortion on “I’m A Panic Bomb, Baby!”, the electro-skanking verses of “I’m Too Cooooool For Music”, or the 3/4 stomp of “Big Plans Of Sleeping In.” “Ready... Set... No!” is pure adrenaline rush, with racing synth melodies and call-and-response scattered throughout the chorus at a hardcore punk tempo, plus brief passages of harmony popping out in the verses and bridge where you least expect them (the way Jeff layers harmonies is something he uses to hilarious effect on his next album). And even though the chorus of “It Ceases To Be ‘Whining’ If You’re Still ‘Shitting Blood’” ends with “Write a song without a hook, /  Remember why you wrote songs in the first place!”, this album is packed with hooks – that song even has more than one itself! On a purely musical level, Album Minus Band feels like the work of a guy with incredible talent but limited recording means throwing all his ideas together in a flurry of creative passion.

But it wasn’t just the music that grabbed me; the album’s lyrics are just as compelling in their satires of punk’s “scene” (more on that later), the music industry in general, American politics, and more. It gets personal, too; I’ve always been impressed by Jeff’s ability to balance more serious issues with the absurd in his self-interrogation: “I never was a drinker, / Now I’m an alcoholic” gives way to “I never cried at movies, / Now I cry at The Simpsons.” As a child who had been passed through the hands of a number of psychologists to virtually no noticeable effect, “Panic Bomb” feels especially cutting to me. Judging by the story of the quack Jeff describes in his notes to this song on Quote Unquote, I was lucky to have never had any experiences as bad as his, but I could still relate to lyrics like “And I know that you're all just trying to help, / But I really think you're all just trying to get rich, / I don't need to be addicted to anything else.” Then there’s the poignancy of the quieter songs, like “Sweet Home Canada” and the album’s closer, “Future 86.” That last song, by the way, has such personal significance to me that I’m going to have to give it its own post separate from the one for this album.

[opaquestrategies]

2020 in review

tagged by @7rc --thank you, I love doing these kinds of things. and since i always write too much for them, the list is under the cut.

Top 5 movies I saw this year:

Emma. (last film I saw in a theater!)

Roman Holiday (hOW did it take me this long to watch this. how is roman holiday not more embedded as a fanfic au plot trope? a pure delight.) 

The Host (went through all the Bong Joon Ho movies I could find after seeing Parasite and this one was my favorite. B-movie but make it art!)

Naussica of the Valley of the Wind / The Castle of Cagliostro / Porco Rosso (As of this year, I’ve watched every Miyazaki movie! all three of the ones I caught up with are great, and I can’t bring myself to choose between them.)

The Hateful Eight (we hooked our laptop up to our stereo to watch this after Liminal Election Week and it was so cathartic to live in a world with different, more visceral problems and to see people in lockdown for a different reason)

Top 5 TV shows I watched this year:

Halt and Catch Fire (I didn’t post much about this show at all when I watched it in June because it was so good that I watched all four seasons in one weekend. Stick with it thru the first season where it’s still just “diet 80s Mad Men and Lee Pace and MacKenzie Davis are there” and you’ll get a show that’s also a stunning mediation on how people you’ve grown apart from can still be part of you even after time changes both of you several times over and what it means to be able to forgive and be forgiven. you’ll feel like you lived a lifetime after finishing this.)

The Simpsons (first nine seasons! this is what I watched over the summer when packing up the apartment I’d lived in for four years)

What We Do in the Shadows (the first season was a great time, but somewhere around the Jackie Daytona episode was when I realized I was watching a masterclass sitcom)

Derry Girls (this was the perfect stress-barricading watch for the first week of quarantine! absolutely sublime.)

Simone Giertz’s youtube channel (loved the consistent experience of being able to watch a cute, talented woman follow the inscrutable exhortations of her soul, especially when those exhortations were things like “make a coffee table out of matches and then light those matches,” “build a robot deer I can hunt with a compound bow” and “build a scissor lamp.” her whole spirit of “yeah, fuck it, I’m just gonna manifest this thing because I want to” is infectious and brought a lot of joy back into covid summer)

Top 5 Songs:

Choose literally any Fiona Apple - Fetch the Bolt Cutters track and insert it here

Fleetwood Mac - “Angel”

Throwing Muses - “Not Too Soon”

Adrienne Lenker - “Anything” 

Haim - “Don’t Wanna” 

Top 5 Books I Read This Year:

The first four Earthsea books by Ursula Le Guin, with special mentions to The Tombs of Atuan and Tehanu which both gave me the delightful “I am spending a week just living in this book and lapping it down as if it’s water” experience. #tenarhive. 

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I was going to describe this novel where pretentious students form a Greek cult and then murder the weak link of the squad as “fun” which seems a little incongruous but like...it’s a taut, perfectly paced thriller and I got to understand the Greek allusions in it and there was some delicious dramatic irony in how the book’s narrated. so yeah, i did have fun with it. it’s fun.

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin. Baldwin can write epigrammatically and that’s how I first encountered him, as a quotation. But the reason he gets quoted is because he makes sure to never simplify his ideas or reduce the world to something less complex than it really is, even when he’s also going for pith and wit. And of course, like all writers, he improves all the more with context. As a Christian, I found his critique of how the church has let itself be used as a tool of white supremacy particularly lucid and helpful.

Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. “Fictional oral history” is such a fun and breezy conceit for a novel and I tore through this one in a day during the first week of quarantine. a lovely little pastiche of some very familiar tropes if you happen to love the archetypes and mythology of popular music and/or are a boomer. this is what is responsible for the Fleetwood Mac.

Pyrrhus and Cineas by Simone de Beauvoir. I leaned on this little essay A LOT for the honors thesis I spent this year writing and reread it three times. It’s such a clever and intriguing discussion of why we bother doing anything at all or why we should choose one goal over another when it all just ends in us dying anyway, which are themes that really hit this year. The last paragraph of the first part always gives me chills. 

Top 5 positive things that happened to me in 2020:

this was back in the part of 2020 that isn’t part of 2020, but I had one really fantastic 48 hours back in February where I helped host the speakers my job invited to a philosophy of religion conference, went to two really nice dinners, talked about so many interesting things, and then went on a impromptu outing with an art history major to see a pop art exhibit.

I participated in several different classes and reading groups, mostly organized by two of our professors, that gave me something to do over the year other than doomscroll and vegetate. I read Kafka, Nietzsche, Toni Morrison, Camus, Philip K. Dick, and Foucault for the first time over the course of these and it was a precious gift to have a built-in venue for social interaction when I was stuck in an apartment by myself.

I moved to an apartment in another city with one of my best friends to ride out quarantine together and that decision has been such a boon for my mental health in the back half of this year. finding the place was a nightmare, but it’s in a nice neighborhood that has a beautiful park and a sculpture garden in walking distance and it was wonderful to put up art and make the place our own. it was a refreshing and much needed change in a year when change was hard to come by.

I used online school to go home for thanksgiving for the first time since I moved away and then just stayed for the rest of the holidays. I usually only get three weeks down here on winter break, so it was nice to have a month and a half instead. 

I graduated from college! and one silver lining of having no idea what 2021 is going to look like is that I’m forced to take at least a semester break to heal from the burn out instead of automatically starting the application cycle for grad school (although the “oh I have no idea what I’m going to do about grad school” is dawning on me and figuring that out will be a huge part of whatever happens next year).

i feel weird tagging people to think back about this last year now that we’re safely out of it? like don’t go back into 2020, that’s where the 2020 is! but, if you want to, i’m tagging @justthatspiffy @aahsoka @theraisincouncil @cosm-i @letsoulswander and you, if you also wanna revisit this kind of stuff.

[thedoteaters]

Remember the Apple Newton?

The MessagePad 2000, from Apple Computers (1997) As always with these #Apple Newton ads, I'll do the Simpsons quote: "Hey Dolph, take a memo on your Newton. Beat up Martin." [Newton takes 'Beat up Martin' and turns it into 'Eat up Martha'] "Bah!" [Throws Newton at Martin]

[n0nst0p-feeling]

10. 15. 77. 139. 143 ❤

10 - Height? 6ft

15 - Favourite Quote? I have two but they’re is super long!

goodwill Hunting - “So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart.”

Rocky Balboa - “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

77 - what is a song that always makes you happy whenever you hear it? Logic - Upgraded

139 - Favourite TV show? Seinfeld or The Simpson’s, though I love me some Queer Eye

143 - Favourite pizza topping? Pepperoni anyday 👌🏻

Thanks for the asks as always Vicki 🖤

[holographicvampire]

Adam from Degrassi

Degrassi definitely took me by surprise with the character Adam. I’m aware that they frequently go there with their story arcs (excuse the pun), but yeah I really never thought there would ever be a transgender character on Degrassi. When the news was confirmed I immediately started watching again. (I briefly stopped watching after season 8, so I spent an entire weekend binging season 9 before I started watching season 10 which is the season Adam appears.) Also around this time, I was in a relationship with an FTM so getting to see an actual FTM character on one of my favorite tv shows was a VERY big deal to me. 

*SPOILER ALERT!*

Adam is first introduced as Eli (Degrassi’s new resident goth cutie)’s friend and they’re participating in a contest to win concert tickets. I think I remember at one point Adam picks up a speaker and ends up smashing in Sev’s dad’s car light or some shit? Yeah, that’s all I remember from whatever episode that was. 

Adam’s story REALLY begins in the two-part episode, “My Body Is A Cage”. The above video is part 1 and here’s a link to part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf8kd-M6_ng  

*Warning: Part 2 contains a self harm scene!*

Drew, Adam’s brother is a typical douchey jock, but he’s VERY supportive and caring towards Adam. Adam’s mom is “kind of” supportive, but wants Adam to be “Gracie” when their grandmother comes over for dinner. That bit always makes me sad. I do understand that maybe the mom was thinking, “My mom is from an older generation so she wouldn’t understand what’s going on”, but still that sucks. I feel like once somebody transitions, they shouldn’t be forced or guilt-tripped to revert back to their old gender to keep people happy. 

During a ballroom dancing class the teacher calls out “Gracie” instead of Adam and my heart instantly sank. I feel for transgendered people that have to deal with that. I get that people make mistakes such as the teacher or even anyone that forgets names/pronouns, but still that has to cause a shit ton of anxiety and I truly sympathize. <3

After ballroom dancing, it’s made clear that it’s “that time of the month” (I’m glad they put this scene in due to it being something people don’t talk about) and Adam quickly heads to his locker to get a container of tampons which he ends up dropping and Clare (Eli’s soon to be girlfriend and also Darcy’s younger sister) notices, and then covers for him when bullies Fitz and Owen walk by. 

There’s another scene where Drew and Adam are getting ready in the bathroom together and their mom calls out “she” instead of he and Adam responds, “Really mom? Pronoun problems still?” His mom quickly apologizes. I mean, at least she tries you know? Adam then meets up with Clare and Eli and finally comes out to them, explaining that he’s a female-to-male transgender and they were very accepting of Adam which in real life I think is heavily important to have some sort of support whether it be from friends, family, or even LGBTQ group meet ups.  

Like I said before, I dated someone who was an FTM and they definitely struggled alot with not only wanting to be accepted, but also accepting themselves. Even though I’m not trans, from my IRL point of view, it really can be hard to come out in this society due to pressure and discrimination and even body dysmorphia which is something that’s definitely not talked about enough. Whether you’re trans or even gay. There’s people in this world that don’t even like bisexuals. It’s fucking crazy to me that we live in a world where people are out here being so cruel, saying disgusting things online and committing hate crimes in real life against people all because of who they love or what they identify as.

On a brighter note though, it warms my heart knowing that not only do Clare and Eli know about Adam’s secret, but so does Mr. Simpson who sends out letters to other teachers informing them about Adam and the use of pronouns etc.

Adam begins to flirt with bad girl Bianca, but things quickly go bad when Bianca touches his chest. She then rips open his shirt revealing a binder over his tank and makes a transphobic comment. Adam runs to the guy’s bathroom and is greeted by Fitz and Owen. They try to make Adam pee standing up at the urinal and again my heart sank. Owen then picks Adam up and throws him at the doors breaking the glass. IT WAS SO ALARMINGLY DISGUSTING TO SEE THAT. Like what the fuck??? Drew then starts a fight with Fitz while Owen holds Adam back and the episode ends. I’m not gonna say any spoilers for the second part. You just have to watch it to see the outcome. I will say though, use caution because there is a graphic self harm scene. I’ve struggled with self-harm in the past so I have to look away during that scene. I will also reveal a quote by Clare that she says to Adam in part 2: 

“You don’t have to change who you are. Everyone else does.” - Clare Edwards

Truly the most honest thing I think anyone could say in regards to FTMs/MTFs struggles. You really don’t have to change. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. It’s people that need to change. Their minds need to change. Their hearts need to change. This whole entire world needs to fucking change, or we’re all doomed. There’s too much unnecessary hatred. Life is short as it is. Why spend what little time you have spreading around hate? It’s gotta stop. Bullying has to stop. Harassment has to stop. Discrimination has to stop. All this negative shit is a problem and we need to stand together to solve it!

[figureditoutkindalikeit-blog]

PART TWO - “We try so hard to hide everything we’re really feeling from those who probably need to know our true feelings the most” – Colleen Hoover, Maybe Someday

The sun was peeking through the tree leaves and even that early in the morning it was very bright. Lori was sitting on a bench at Regent’s Park with her camera on her lap. She enjoyed waking up early on the weekend to go to parks and take pictures of the first rays of sun hit the trees. There was always a poetic vibe to the light on those circumstances and being able to walk around before anyone else got in the parks, gave a sense of creative freedom to her. She was taking a sip of her hot chai, watching as the first few people begin to enter the park, when she got a text. She places her cup next to her and grabs her phone to check it. The text read: “’I have such desire to sleep and am so much behind my sleep. A good night, one good night and all this nonsense will be swept away’ - H”. Lori smiles at it and replies ��A bit dark, but suitable for a morning note, I guess”. Harry answers with a smiley emoji. Ever since they realized both wanted to keep in touch but that wish got lost in translation – along with the disappearing note – they started talking a lot over the phone, and picked up the habit of sending each other little notes with quotes from authors they knew or liked. It was an almost every day thing, taking turns on who would send that day. Harry was the one that forgot his notes duties more often, but Lori didn’t mind, ‘coz she knew he worked a lot and almost always had busy days. When that happened, she just kept her notes to herself, waiting until he realized it was his turn, which didn’t take long because he’d end up missing hers and realizing why she wasn’t sending any. Today was Harry’s day. 

Sometimes the only interaction they would have would be the notes, and that was fine. So Lori placed the phone back in her pocket and grabbed her tea from the bench. It was, truly, a beautiful Sunday morning. She was enjoying her peace and quiet when she heard a shout out behind her. She turns around and sees her friend, Jorge.

-          Hey, papi!

-          Buenos dias, mama! – he says with a peck on her cheek.

-          How are you?

-          I’m great, finally a warm morning. I was pretty sure becoming an Eskimo, I’m certain I’d be living in an Igloo if summer didn’t show its face anytime soon.

-          You’re the one that decided to leave Argentina, Jorge.

-          I do miss my porteño sun.

-          Isn’t Argentina pretty cold too, tho?

-          In the winter, as it should be! Summer? Hot!

-          Hm…well. That’s what you get up north, sweetie.

-          Might be true but my latino ass does not appreciate it.

Lori smiles.

-          Where have you been taking that latino ass anyway? I haven’t seen you at the gym lately. You still go there, right?

-          Yeah…well….sort of….

-          You didn’t trade gyms on me, Jorge?! I swear to god…

-          No, no. That’s my gym. It’s just…

-          Jorge!

-          Remember Matt?

-          The juice guy?

-          Smoothie guy!

-          Potato, potato…

-          Well…we’ve been seeing each other…

-          Oh, you finally agreed to go out with him…

-          Yeah, turns out there IS some juice on that smoothie!!!

-          Oh…for a minute there I was happy for you.

-          Ah, c’mon sourpuss. He’s nice.

-          I knew that. I told you that. A million times…you didn’t like his hair, like that’s a good reason for turning someone down.

-          Ah, really? Miss “I don’t date curly haired men”.

-          Ah, ok, that’s unfair…I never said that I wouldn’t date…

They walk out of the park together, arm in arm, talking about their dating endeavors. Jorge had agreed to take Lori out shopping, because she needed a good outfit for a party tonight. Grimmy was having a early birthday party and that was something she couldn’t get out of, not only because she would never do that to Nick, who was a great friend, but because the reason it was an early celebration was because Lori would be flying Italy next week and wouldn’t be in the UK on the actual date, so he decided to have it earlier so she could attend. But she didn’t have anything to wear, other than things Grim’s already seen her in, and she knew he’d be bitter about her repeating an outfit on his birthday, so she needed to make a good impression.

By 1h30 pm, they had already been to three stores, none had anything Lori liked, so they decided to stop for lunch at Andina, the Peruvian restaurant at Shoreditch, before trying some other stores. Jorge comes back from the loo and sees Lori smiling at her phone, before sitting down.

-          Mr. Mystery Man?

-          What? – she says, looking up from her phone.

-          Who are you talking to?

-          What? No one I’m…

-          MMM indeed.

-          What???

-          MMM! Mr. Mystery Man. The guy bringing that smile to your face every time you talk to him.

-          What are you talking about? What smile? What man?

-          Tú piensas que soy tonto, mama? I Love you, but you’re a bitter bitch. Not many drag a smile out of you that effortlessly. Wanna know who does? Un hombre!!!

-          How can you be so sure of that?

Jorge just raises his eyebrows at her. She didn’t even realize she was smiling, but he was right, she was talking to someone that made her happy. Harry had just asked her if she was going to Nick’s party, which meant he was, and that made her very happy. The prospect of seeing Harry live again made her get all sorts of feelings.

She just puts her phone down, looking unfazed at Jorge.

-          No point in pretending to be unbothered now, mama. Your teeth sold you out 5 minutes ago. – he says as the waiter brings them their meals.

Later, at a store, Lori was trying a dress she wasn’t sure about.

-          I don’t know Jorge…it’s too revealing…

-          That’s the whole point.

-          It’s a friends party, I don’t want to reveal anything…especially not to him, I’ll never hear the end of it… - she says already picturing Nick’s face when he sees that cleavage.

As Lori looks at herself at the mirror, Jorge takes her phone from her coat and goes through it. He smiles at the sight of what he was looking for, so he takes a picture of her reflection in the mirror, without her seeing it.

-          I mean…it’s not me, you know? And I don’t think it would be the right occasion as well…

-          To look hot? Every occasion is the right occasion to turn some heads around. Plus, your friend seems to like it.

Lori turns around to find Jorge playing with her phone.

-          What?

-          Edward? He likes it. – He says showing her her own phone.

-          Whaaaaat have you doooone??? – She says grabbing the phone from him.

Jorge sent the picture to Harry, who was listed on her contacts as Edward. He sent the picture with a question mark caption. Harry answered with another question mark.

-          What do you think? – Jorge sent as her.

-          Uhm. Looks nice?! – Harry answered.

-          Do you like it?

-          Yeah. Sure.

-          Would you like to see it tonight at the party?

-          Ha ha. Yeah, sure. Why not? I’ll have to dress up!

Lori could feel her face boiling. Jorge was smiling from ear to ear.

-          WHAT…HAVE…YOU….DONE????? – she says throwing every piece of clothing she could grab at him. – Jorge!!! WHY? Why would you do that?????

-          Queeee??? Now you know he’ll like it.

-          WE’RE NOT DATING YOU MORON! He’s just a friend….oh my god… - she says melting down until she’s completely horizontal on the floor of the fitting room.

-          A friend? Cariño, I’m a friend. And I sure as hell know I don’t get a smile out of you the way he does.

-          Yeah, you know why??? Because he WOULD NEVER DO THIS!!!! – she says sitting up and throwing more stuff at Jorge.

-          Well, it doesn’t matter. What matters is: he likes it…enough for him to want to “dress up”…if you play nice maybe he’ll want to dress down as well later.

-          Vete a la mierda, Jorge!!!!

He Just laughs.

Later that night, Lori is sitting in the car, parked in front of the club Nick’s birthday was at.

-          Ehm…miss?

Lori looks at the taxi driver.

-          Is this the right address?

-          Yes

-          Are…you……coming in? – he says wondering why it’s been 15 minutes since they’ve arrived and she was still inside the car.

-          Ah, yes, sorry. Just….building up the courage.

-          Big night?

-          Potential horrible night.

-          Oh…good luck, then, love.

-          Thank you! – She says paying him and exiting the car.

She stays put at the sidewalk, looking at the building, for another good 30 seconds.

-          Miss…

She turns around and the car is still there, with the driver by the window.

-          I don’t mean to rush ya, love…but I have to keep working for the night…and I can’t just leave you standing there…

-          Oh, right, sorry. Thanks!!! I’ll…I’ll get in. Thank you for your concern, sir.

He smiles and watches her go up to the door. She turns around and waves at him, that waves back and drives off. What a nice man, she thought. She turns around to face the door and the pit in her stomach resumes. She considered not going the whole drive there, but every time she almost told the driver to turn around, she remembered Nick, and how annoying he would be Monday at work. So she takes a deep breath and enters the club. The music inside was loud and the place was packed with people drinking, dancing, having a good time. Lori glances at the dance floor and sees a couple of familiar faces. Some from work, some friends Nick introduced her to already. Thankfully, no Harry. Maybe he couldn’t come, that would be a relief. She walks up to the bar, looking for Nick all the way there. She calls the bartender.

-          What can I get you, love?

-          Anything that gets me drunk. Fast.

-          Are ya sure? – he says, laughing.

-          Like I’ve never been before!

-          Ok. One strong drink coming.

She sits at the stool and looks around for Nick once more. The bartender brings her a glass with a fluorescent liquid inside.

-          What the…

-          Don’t let the looks fool ya. The pretty ones are always the ones that hits ya the hardest – he says with a wink.

-          I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks. – she says taking the glass in her hand.

She looks at the limey orange drink and thinks twice before drinking it. But she really needed something to fill the hole in her stomach; she thought why not something that looked like Homer Simpson concocted. So she takes a sip and is pleasantly surprised by how good it tasted. A few people come up to her to say hi, each time made her jump in her seat thinking it was Harry. But the sips she kept taking from her drink helped her not feel so alarmed anymore, when Nick finally comes up to her.

-          There you are!!!

-          Niiiiiickkk!!! Heeey baby! – she says throwing herself to hug him.

-          Jesus!!! How many of those have you had already? – He says picking her back up on the seat.

-          What? This? Erm…JULIO! – she says calling the bartender.

-          His name is not Julio – Nick says laughing.

-          I don’t care. Julio always seems like a suitable name for a bartender, so for tonight…this is Julio – she says pointing at the bartender arriving to them.

-          Hi. Sorry. – Says Nick, smiling.

-          How many of those have you made me already, Julio? – she says lifting her almost empty glass.

-          Three.

-          Three!!! – She says making the number with her fingers to Nick.

-          Oh, ok…well…maybe that’s enough?

-          What? Why??? It’s goooood….

The bartender laughs, cleaning a glass.

-          She asked to get drunk. Sat here and never left. I’m guessing she needed that. – says the bartender to Nick.

-          Yeah, well, she doesn’t drink that much…

-          What is in this anyway? – she says now looking at the bottom of her glass, examining the content.

-          Devil Springs – says the bartender.

-          Oh… - says Nick taking the glass out of Lori’s hand. – Three glasses of Devil Springs is enough for you.

-          What is Devil Springs?

-          Vodka – says the bartender.

-          What? I’ve had vodka before…Nick…why are you taking my vodka away from me?

-          You’ll be saying goodbye to that vodka into a toilet if you keep this up…and that’s expansive shit, so let’s keep it in as much as we can, yea? – says Nick picking her up.

-          Uhh…

He tries carrying her out of the bar, but she insists that she’s not drunk and can walk by herself, thank you very much. So he just walks beside her, guiding her to the upper floor of the club.

-          Oh, VIP? – she says as a big security guard takes a rope out of her way. – You bitch, why didn’t you say there was VIP? I would’ve kept looking for you forever…

-          I did. I told you to look for me at the upper floor.

-          I thought I was at the upper floor.

-          Jesus, woman!

They walk up to a couple of couches near a balcony, with a big coffee table at the center. She immediately blushes at the sight of Harry, sitting in one of them. He was talking to another guy and didn’t seem to notice she was there, so she turned around trying to leave but Nick was right behind her.

-          What are you doing? – says Nick, serious.

-          I’m…going….to take a wee.

Nick raises his eyebrows.

-          You’re going to take a wee….

-          Yes! That’s right – she says with a sudden confident tone of voice – I had too much vodka, I need to pee. – she says smiling.

-          Are you sure you don’t want to throw up?

-          What? No!!! I’m NOT drunk!

She realizes her tone of voice was too loud, so she turns around and sees Harry looking at her. Shit!

-          You want me to take you to the bathroom? – says Nick behind her.

-          I’m…

Harry was just staring at her, taking a dip of his drink.

-          I…

-          Goddamit woman are you having a stroke or something??? – says Nick losing his patience.

-          Heeey, be nice. – Says Harry.

-          Are you going to throw up???? Because if you are I beg you not to do it in the middle of the lounge, it will KILL your career, sister! – says Nick, grabbing her by the shoulders.

-          Are you feeling sick? – says Harry getting up.

-          I’m……

Both Nick and Harry standing in front of her, looking concerned.

-          I think she’s short circuiting or something, Harry.

-          Stop being mean, Nick. – He says, smiling at his friend. – Lori, are you alright? Do you need us to get someone to take you to the bathroom?

-          No, I’m fine. – she says finally snapping out of it. – Sorry, I was…I forgot you would be here.

-          Ah – says Harry.

-          Ah, great. Of course – Says Nick rolling his eyes and leaving.

Harry looks Lori up and down and goes back up to her eyes.

-          What happened to the black dress? – He says putting his non drink-holding-hand in his pocket.

Lori widens her eyes, feeling her skin warm up. Harry had a sarcastic smirk on his face that did not make it easier.

-          I…

-          Oh, no, no. Forget I asked that. If you’re going back to stutter… - Harry says laughing.

Lori smiles.

-          Sorry. I’m not…it’s just…a friend of mine…

-          Yeah, I figured that. – he says smiling and taking a sip of his drink. – Wanna sit?

-          Yeah, I probably should.

Harry laughs and they both sit at the sofa he was in before.

-          This is Rom, by the way. – he says, introducing the man he was talking to before.

-          Hi Roman. – She hands out her hand to shake his.

-          Hi. Lori, right?

-          Yeah.

-          Nice to meet you. I’ve heard about you.

-          Oh, have you? – she says looking at Harry.

-          Don’t flatter yourself – says Harry taking another sip of his drink. She smiles.

-          He mentioned you were coming…didn’t say you were so cute, tho. Why don’t you introduce me to your cute friends, Harry?

-          I just did. – Says Harry. – You can do better – he whispers to Lori.

-          Whoa, thanks, mate. Thank you very much.

-          You have a girlfriend.

-          Oh, yeah…sorry! – Roman says to Lori.

-          Did I do something that made you think I was interested?

-          OOH! – Says Harry leaning against Lori, looking at Roman.

-          Whoa. Cold! How’s Arendalle doing lately, my queen?

-          Pretty good. Thanks for asking. – Says Lori, smiling. – Kristoff’s wondering where you’ve been, however.

-          Am I Sven? – Roman looks at Harry – Harry, am I Sven?

-          You do like carrots a lot. – Says Harry laughing.

-          Jesus! – says Roman leaning back. – I need a drink after that.

Roman leaves to get a drink, leaving Harry alone with Lori. They talk all through the night, until Nick steals Lori to dance with him. Harry stays put, after refusing to join them dancing.

-          Sooo… - says Nick dancing. – What’s up with Harry?

-          What’s up with him? I don’t know…

-          Don’t play dumb. You’re smarter than most people I know. What’s up with you two…you’ve been talking to him all night. I’m not sure I like it… - he says squinting his eyes to her.

-          Don’t worry Nick. We’re just friends.

-          Uhum…

-          We are. We like talking to each other…

-          Uh, sexy!

-          Ah, shut up!

-          Do you have a crush or what?

-          What???

-          C’mon, everyone’s got a crush on Harry.

-          Ah, lovely. That’s exactly what a girl wants to find out…that she has to share her crush with EVERYONE.

-          Oh, so you DO have a crush?

-          Wh…no!!! I don’t. We’re friends.

-          Don’t lie to me.

-          I’m not lying, Grim.

-          Hm…well, watch out for that. It’s not very healthy having a crush on Mr. Styles. Even as lovely as he is…probably why it’s not a good idea anyway.

-          What?

-          You know…nice people…they’re like drugs. You go in, just for a taste, because they feel nice…but then getting out is impossible, because…they make you feel nice.

-          Are you comparing Harry Styles to cocaine? – she says after a second.

-          Fancy you picking cocaine. Why is that?

-          Wh…what drug were you thinking of?

-          Ecstasy.

-          Holy shit, that’s hardcore, Grim.

-          Harry Styles is hardcore, love. – He says twirling, holding her hand.

-          Oh, I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.

-          You better not, you little wanker!

Lori laughs. She dances with Nick for a while, until her feet let her know she needs a chair, so she goes back to the couch right when Rita Ora shows up and Nick turns his attention to her. She finds the couch empty and sits, looking around, trying to find a familiar face in the crowd. After a while looking, she sees Roman with a couple of drinks on his hand. He waves at her from across the lounge.

-          Where’s Harry? – she mouths to him.

He frowns trying to understand what she was saying. She repeats and he looks around, before he shrugs.

-          I think he left – he mouths back to her.

-          Oh, ok! Thanks – she mouths, giving a thumbs up to him.

He lifts his left hand and puts the other over his stomach, asking if she wanted to dance. She felt a bit bummed out about Harry leaving, but she knew she had to stay longer for Nick, so decides to enjoy the night and says yes to Roman, going up to him to dance. He was a terrible dancer, but a fun guy.

It was probably the headache that made her wake up with just the vibration of her phone next to her pillow. She opens her eyes and it felt like there was sand in them, so she blinks a couple of times before grabbing her phone to see what the notification was about. The bright light from the screen almost blinds her, so she turns the brightness down before anything else and, after recovering her vision, she looks up at the phone again to see 50 text messages. 45 of them were drunk texts from Nick, 4 were from Roman and 1 was from Harry. It read “u awake?”. She checks the time stamp and sees that he sent it 5 minutes ago, so she places her phone on her chest, both hands over it, thinking for a bit. Did she really want to reply him? At 4h20 am? Did she want Harry to know she was awake and, apparently, ready to answer his texts whatever hour he felt convenient? She decides to get up and go to the bathroom before anything else. She grunts since the light there almost blinded her too.

Back in bed, she picks up the phone, staring at Harry’s message. She decided to reply.

-          Hey – she writes.

He sends a smile after a few seconds.

-          Did I wake ya?

-          No – she lies.

-          Good. I didn’t see how late it was.

-          It’s ok. I wasn’t sleeping.

-          Sorry I left

-          What?

-          Tonight?! Sorry I left without saying bye. I ran into an old friend…

-          An old…friend?! – She asks, immediately regretting doing it so. He doesn’t reply – You don’t have to answer that, I shouldn’t intrude, sorry. – She rushes to fix her faux pas.

-          It’s ok.

Truth be told she always told herself that she didn’t like Harry that way, but the thought of him leaving the party with an “old friend” pinched her stomach harder then she thought. Which made her a bit concern about how she really felt about him.

-          You wanna do something tomorrow? – He asks.

-          Like what?

-          Dunno. Whatever you want to.

-          Hm. Late lunch and ice cream?

-          Ha. Ok, good! Pick you up?

-          Nah, we’ll meet there.

-          Ok, cool. See ya tomorrow then.

The next day, Lori is sitting at the table, under the shade, sipping her ice tea, observing people around her, when Harry walks in the restaurant’s yard. He looked very comfy. Looked around for Lori, taking his sunglasses off. She waves and he walks up to her and sits down, after giving her a kiss on the cheek.

-          How’s the hangover?

-          What? I don’t know what you’re talking about – She says, fixing the sunglasses she was wearing even though she was in the shade. Harry just smiles. – How about you? How are you feeling today?

-          Me? I’m great! – He says leaning back on the chair, putting lowering his Gucci sunglasses while he leaned his head into the sunlight.

-          Show off!

Harry laughs. He looked very comfy in his baggy clothes, but still very fashionable, as usual. They have lunch, while talking about the night before, transitioning to work and their latest projects. When they finish lunch and decide to walk up to a ice cream shop, Harry starts talking about the new music he’s been working on and Lori tries to get a little preview out of him, but he keeps his mouth shut about it.

-          It’s not like I’m going to tell anyone about it…

-          I know that.

-          Ok, you don’t want to show me, that’s fine, as long as you promise you’ll write something about me.

Harry laughs.

-          Yeah. I don’t care what’s about. It can be like “that annoying girl that keeps texting me stupid things and doesn’t leave me alone”…but it has to be about me.

-          I can bitch about ya?

-          Yeah, as long as I know it’s me you’re bitching about. I just want a Harry Styles song.

-          Ha! – he says while holding the door open for Lori to enter the ice cream shop. – What is this place?

-          It’s my favorite place in London. They’re an Italian “gelateria” that makes these artisanal fresh gelatos. SO good. I’m obsessed with their Mascarpone and Figs gelato.

-          Sounds good.

They get their order and leave again, eating whilst walking through the streets of Notting Hill, which makes Lori pretend to be Hugh Grant, getting a laugh out of Harry. Harry gives Lori his neck scarf to tie up her hair, since the hot sun kept making her hold her hair up, and they sit to rest in front of Kensington Palace. Since the place had a rather high tourist circulation, some people would stop to ask Harry for pictures, which he didn’t mind at all, up until people started to gather around him. So he nudged Lori on the back and advised them to leave. He took the last pictures with some fans that were still waiting for him and politely thanked everyone before leaving towards Lori’s direction.

-          You’re so nice. – She says as they walk away from the crowd.

-          Thanks?! – He says with a timid smile.

-          Sure, but I mean it. Not everyone would be as patient as you are. No wonder everyone loves you so much.

Harry smiles.

-          Well you don’t need the money with a face like that, do ya honey? – she says with a big smile.

-          What? – he says with a confused frown.

She repeats the line with the Jets song melody this time.

-          Ah! Are you saying you want me to be your girl? – He says, smiling.

-          A few years ago that song could be about you.

-          What? – He says laughing.

-          Yeah. The chorus says “big black boots, long brown hair, she’s so sweet with her get-back stare”…that’s you in 2015.

Harry belts out a laugh.

-          Oh, really?

-          Yeah…”oh I could see, you home with me, but you are with another man, yeah”…you did a photoshoot for Another Man, didn’t ya?

Harry thinks for a second about Lori’s theory.

-          You know what…you’re right. That might be about me.

Lori smiles in triumph.

-          At least that’s what I’ll be saying from now on – He says, smiling. – You want to grab dinner? – He continues after a few seconds.

-          Sure. You don’t have dinner plans?

-          I do. But I can cancel them.

-          You don’t have to…

-          Nah, it’s ok. – he says while texting. – What you want for dinner?

-          I don’t know?

-          Let’s grab something and go home watch a movie…or do you rather actually going to the cinema? – he says raising his eyes up to look at Lori.

-          You go to cinemas?

-          Yes?! – he answers laughing.

-          Hm…as much as I’d love to go home and watch something in the comfort of my sofa…I’d actually like to go to the cinema. It’s been a while.

-          Ok, let’s find something to watch then. – he says stretching his arm so Lori and wrap hers around it.

They finally decide on a film and find a near cinema to go to. They wait after the session starts to enter, after the room is already dark. The cinema wasn’t packed, so at the last row, where they sit, they were the only ones. Lori fixes the popcorn they were sharing on her lap while Harry sits at the very end of the chair, stretching his legs on the back of the chair in front of him. The movie starts and, instead of watching it, Harry and Lori spend the entire time analyzing the few people at the room. Guessing which ones were couples on dates, which ones were friends, which ones were alone; and then making up dialogues every time they saw two people talking. They burst into laughter when they were making up a dialogue for two people that seemed like they were having a heated argument, which inspired their dialogue, and out of the sudden they started making out. For a split second, Harry and Lori were silently surprised by the sudden flame between the couple, before laughing quietly. Two thirds into the movie, Harry decided to look up at the big screen for the first time, while stuffing his mouth with popcorn.

-          What is this movie about anyway? – He asks.

-          It’s…uhm…

Lori takes her phone out and google the title of the movie.

-          It’s the story about a musician that moves to New York in search of his dream of Broadway and ends up involved in a murder during the play…it’s set in the 30’s.

-          That sounds interesting – he says after couple of seconds.

-          Makes sense, since we picked this movie to watch…

-          We should have watched it…d’you think we’ll understand anything if we start watching now?

-          I don’t know…

Fifteen minutes in, Lori looks at Harry, almost sleeping.

-          I’m guessing that’s a no?

-          What?

-          Do you understand what’s going on?

-          Ah, no, sorry…I was day dreaming…

Lori laughs. They start assuming what’s going on, making up the whole plot of the movie, based on the synopsis Lori read before. The movie, that in the real plot ends with a twist and a romantic ending for the lead, in their version ends with a ridiculous Monty Python “tragedy”, that makes them giggle all through the end credits. Every time someone would pass by them, with an inquisitive look, Harry would hide behind Lori, since they couldn’t stop laughing like idiots. After everyone leaves, they finally do the same. After grabbing a quick dinner, Harry takes her home.

-          You want some tea? – she asks, while unlocking her door.

-          No, thanks. I have an early meeting...

-          Uh, business man.

-          Nah, it’s just to check some samples…

Lori widens her eyes, looking at Harry. He laughs.

-          You wanna come?

-          Really?

-          Yeah, sure. I’d like your opinion.

-          You said you don’t like outside people listening to your stuff before it’s done.

-          I’ll make an exception. Besides, you being there might work nice as inspiration for that song about an annoying girl.

-          Whatever works for ya, honey!

Harry smiles.

-          You’ll come? – he asks.

-          I have to work tomorrow morning, but I’ll try to swing by before I clock in.

-          Ok, I’ll text ya the address.

-          Ok.

Harry gives Lori a kiss and walks back to his car.

-          Today was fun – he says before getting into his car, leaving Lori with a big smile on her face.

She walks inside her apartment feeling giddy. A big fluffy ragdoll cat jumps on the sofa next to her, meowing.

-          Today was, indeed, a fun day, Mush! – she says to the cat.

Her phone chirps inside her purse, so she drops Mushroom to get to her phone. She checks her message.

-          “I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then”- H – Harry texted – Almost forgot it was my turn.

-          It’s not – she texts back

-          What?

-          You sent one yesterday, but since you’re in a serious red ledger, I’ll add that up to your debt – She texts with a wink. He replies with the same emoticon.

The next few days, Lori and Harry met up a few more times, until the day before he had to travel outside of the UK again, when he invited her to a party he was going to.

“I’ve spent so much time in my mind and in my heart that I forgot to live in my body” – L. Harry answered the note with a picture of a crumbled piece of paper.

-          Why are you texting me garbage? – She writes.

-          Your post-it – He answers.

-          What??

-          The disappearing note that you left me the day you slept here.

-          OMG! I TOLD YA!!!! Where was it?

-          Under my fridge.

-          Shit!

-          Innit? See ya tonight?

-          Yep

That night, Lori dresses up and is quite happy with how she looks, checking herself in the mirror before leaving for the party. A feeling reaffirmed by Harry’s look, when she walks up to him at the club.

-          Look at ya.

She twirls before giving him a hug.

-          You look great.

-          Thanks!

-          This is Jeff – he says pointing to the man next to him.

-          Hey!

-          Hi, nice to meet ya, finally. – Says Jeff.

-          Yeah, likewise. I heard a lot about you – she says, shaking Jeff’s hand. – Feels like every story Harry ever tells, you’re in it.

-          Lately, likewise. – Says Jeff smiling.

-          Ok, stop it you two. – Says Harry splitting them up. – Join me? – He asks lifting his glass.

-          Who? – Jeff and Lori answer in unison.

Harry smiles.

-          Both? – He asks.

A few drinks in and after Harry gets slightly drunk, he drags his friends to the dance floor. They dance the night away and, by the time the music changes to 80’s pop, Harry and Jeff are already wasted, while Lori maintains a safe level of sobriety as a promise to Jeff, to keep an eye on both of them. Harry leaves to take a wee and Lori keeps dancing with Jeff, holding Harry’s coat like a matador cape.

After what felt like too long, Lori tells Jeff to check up on Harry, since there was no way he’d be taking that long to take a wee. He agrees and leaves Lori at the bar, before going after his friend. She puts Harry’s coat and orders a club soda. After she gets her glass, she sits facing the dance floor and begins to watch people dance, while playing with the straw in her drink. She almost chokes on her cherry as she sees Harry across the other side of the dance floor, talking to a blonde girl. She was clearly flirting with him, playing with her hair and occasionally touching Harry’s shirt. Lori stares at that scene, not sure how it made her feel, but with a dead cold expression. He seemed to enjoy the attention, since even from far away Lori could tell the girl was very attractive. She was tall, had a beautiful smile, and the short skirt made her legs look even longer. No doubt a model, Lori thought. She saw Jeff sneaking up to Harry, what brought a faint smile to her lips. Harry turns to Jeff and whispers something to him, he nods and leaves him to turn his attention back to the blonde girl. Lori frowns at that. A few minutes later Jeff finds her again.

-          Hey! – He says, grabbing his drink.

-          Hi again…did you find him? – She lied.

-          Yeah.

-          Did he drown in the toilet?

Jeff smiles.

-          No, he ran into a friend on the way back.

-          Ah, popular boy. – She pretends to be unbothered by that.

-          Yeah, that’s how it usually goes.

-          I know, I remember. – She says in an introspective tone.

-          Oh?

-          Hm? Ah, nothing…that happened last time we went out. So I feel your frustration.

Jeff smiles.

-          It’s not frustration, he has a lot of friends…as long as he’s happy.

-          You’re a good friend, Jeff.

-          I’d like to think I am, yeah. – He laughs. – How about you? Does it bother you when he elopes?

-          Me? No. I’m on the same page you are. As long as he’s happy. Harry is probably one of my best friends by now, so I share the feeling. – She says high fiving Jeff.

She knew she was lying to him and to herself. It did bother her. She wasn’t sure why. She didn’t like him that way. She knew she was jealous, but she’s always been jealous of her friends and maybe that’s what she was feeling. She ponders about it and maybe it bothered her that it was Harry’s last night in the country and she thought she’d be able to have the whole night with him and now he was 100% focused on another girl. She looks at Jeff texting and sipping his drink and looks back at Harry. After staring at him flirting back with the girl for a few minutes, she decided to turn backwards to face the bar. That scene made something boil up inside her, a mix of anger and sadness, and it also felt wrong to intrude in Harry’s business like that. That many emotions overwhelmed her, so she decides to have a Mascal instead of her club soda. Jeff just peeks over his phone as she turns the shot glass in a split second. She puts the glass down and Jeff puts his in front of her without saying a word. She looks at it and looks at Jeff, eyes fixed on his phone.

-          I’m good – She smiles at him.

-          You sure?

-          Yeah…

Jeff taps her on the shoulder, which, somehow, comforts her a lot. She turns to talk to him instead of worrying about Harry. After an hour or so, Jeff announces he has to go, so he tries to find Harry in the party. Lori remains at the bar, sipping a drink, until Jeff returns.

-          Couldn’t find him…

Lori looks over her shoulder at Jeff, before he leans against the bar, scanning the dance floor another time.

-          He might have left…you want a ride home?

-          Thanks. – She says smiling, before looking around the room – I think I saw someone I know earlier. I might try to find him…

-          Are you sure?

-          Yeah. Thanks Jeffie!

He smiles, gives her a kiss and leaves the party. Lori gets up and starts walking around the club.

-          Thought I saw ya… - She says with a smile.

-          Mamacita!!!! – Says Jorge, clearly a few drinks too many, raising both arms up, spilling a bit of his drink on everyone around him.

-          Hey Papi! – She says laughing, pulling his arms down – Put your arms down, man. You’re showering everyone…

-          How you doing, mama? Que buena estás, mi preciosa!

-          Are you flirting?

-          Por qué? Te gusta?

-          No, checking your alcohol levels…

-          Want a drink? Matty!!! – He screams out of the sudden.

A blonde, lean guy comes up to them from within the crowd.

-          Look at that tall drink!!! – Says Jorge wrapping his arm around Matt.

-          Juice guy!! – Says Lori, smiling.

-          Smoothie!!!!

-          Hi! – Says Matt with a big, seemingly sober, smile.

-          Nice to see you outside the “SmoothU” uniform.

-          You too, without the gym clothes.

-          Not half bad, right?

Matt smiles.

-          Matty’s an Aussie! – Says Jorge putting his arm around Matt’s neck.

-          I know Jorge. I’ve been “Smoothed” by him before.

-          Que??? – Says Jorge without understanding the pun.

-          I’ve been…...we go to the same gym he works at, remember. We talked before.

-          Oh…no sabia…

-          Yes you did know.

-          He’s very drunk – Says Matt.

-          Figures… - Agrees Lori, laughing.

Jorge and Matt were one of those couples you kind of feel jealous of, they were both incredibly handsome. Matt was very tall, blonde, lean and fit. He had grayish eyes and a nice friendly smile, surrounded by a great gingerish scruff. Jorge, however, was very strong – with a bit of belly he named his fanny (pack) – short, caramel skin, dark hair, hazel eyes and a heartthrob smile, defined as such by himself, which Lori did not disagree with. He was clearly in love with Matt, or the vodka made him believe so, and Lori knew Matt had a crush on him for a long time, so seeing them finally together made her very happy. She was thinking about how lucky they were then she felt a nudge on her shoulder. She turns around and is surprised by the sight of a very drunk Harry.

-          Hey baby! – He says looking around.

-          Harry??? I thought you left…

-          Have you seen Jeff? – He slurred out, with heavy eyelids.

-          No, he already left, honey. – She says giving him her hands, since his were browsing the air around her, looking for something to hold. – Are you ok?

-          Me? Yeah, I’m…oh…there’s my jacket!!! – He slurs out, grabbing the sleeve of his coat while holding her hand.

-          Yeah, you gave me to hold when you went to the loo…

-          Oh, did I? – He says frowning.

-          Yes – Says Lori containing her laugh. – Are you sure you’re ok, Har?

-          I’m great. Slightly drunk, yea?

-          Slightly?

-          Ok, a lot! I’m wasted, that’s it, innit?

Lori was sure the only thing keeping him from swaying around was the tight grip he had on her arms.

-          You disappeared, so Jeff left… - She says, getting closer to him, so he could put his arm around her shoulders, giving him more support.

-          Fucking wanker! – He says in the most Cheshire accent Lori’s ever heard.

-          That’s not fair. You did disappear. He tried texting ya…

-          Still a wanker. Should’ve waited for me, yea? Like you did. Aw. You did! – He says suddenly wrapping his other arm around her and throwing himself over her. – You’re a good friend! – he leans back, resting his right elbow on her shoulder while pointing at her with his right hand – You…y-you are not a wanker.

-          Good to know – Says Lori giving him a smile.

-          I love ya, bub! – He says going back in to hug her.

-          Ok Harry. I love you too, puppy!

-          Ha! Puppy! – He says without releasing himself from the hug, through hiccups.

She rubs his back and he leans back again.

-          Can I ask you a favor? If it’s not…if it’s not impos…what are you laughing at? – He says frowning at Lori’s expression.

-          I’m not! – She says biting her lip to avoid it.

He grabs her chin and pulls, down, making her release her bottom lip and letting out a slight puff of air.

-          Yeah y’are! Is this funny to ya? – He says with the most fake offended expression ever.

-          Not at all, Mr. Styles – She says smiling.

-          I’m drunk! I’m fucked up drunk and y’re laughing? At my face? Just like that? – he says one hand firmly grabbing her elbow, the other resting on his waist.

-          Maybe I am a wanker! – She says shrugging.

-          Nooo. No, no…y’re not! – He goes back into the hug.

-          Jesus Christ… - Lori lets out, laughing.

-          Ok, I’m s-I’m sorry. I’m annoying ya…I’ll… - He says letting go from her and turning around.

-          No!!! Harry get back here. – She says grabbing his waist.

-          Oh! Oh…careful there… - he grabs her hands and turns around to face her again – Careful with those handsies…

Lori laughs.

-          What do you want, Har?

-          What happened to puppy? I liked puppy.

-          Ok – says Lori shaking her head – What do you need, puppy?

-          I don’t know. What do I need? – He says with very innocent eyes, honestly not knowing what she was talking about.

-          I…I don’t know Harry, you said you needed to ask me a favor…

-          I did?

-          Yeah

-          Oh…ehm… - He says with one hand on his chin, trying to remember, the other back on her shoulder, gripping her tight. – OH! I need a ride.

-          What?

-          I need a ride home…you see…I have to be…careful…

He stops mid sentence, index finger in front of his own face, squinting his eyes, while Lori waits for him to finish. Which he doesn’t.

-          I think I’m fucked up. – He says in a defeated tone.

-          Oh, honey. You most definitely are. – Says Lori, grabbing both his shoulders.

-          Can you take me home, please?

-          Of course, pup! I just have to say goodbye to a friend.

-          Who? Me?

Lori stares at Harry, considering if he actually asked her that or if he was joking.

-          N...no. Another friend…

-          You have other friends? – He asks, shocked.

-          I do.

-          But you like me better, yea?

-          Unfortunately that’s also true.

He gives her a big drunk smile. She turns around to look for Jorge and sees him sitting at a sofa with Matt. She walks up to him, with Harry clenched on her arm.

-          Papi, I have to go.

-          Whaaat? Por qué? We didn’t even get you drunk yet…

-          Oh, I’m good. Trust me – Says Lori. She could feel Harry very close behind her, nudging his nose on her shoulder.

Jorge sees Harry behind her and jumps up in a surprising speed. He stays put for a few seconds, clearly waiting for the blood to go back up to his head, and leans in.

-          Quién es este?

-          Ehm…Edward… - She attempts, since Jorge didn’t seem to recognize Harry.

-          Ooooooh…que bandida!! “Solo amigos”, hm?

Surprisingly good memory for someone that drunk, Lori thinks.

-          Ok, I need to take him home.

-          I bet you do! – Says Jorge pouting his lips.

-          You’re very handsome – Suddenly says Harry behind Lori’s shoulder.

-          Gracias, cariño. Oh I like him!!

Lori smiles, rolling her eyes, and waves goodbye at Jorge.

-          Give Matty a kiss for me.

-          I’ll give him more than that, mama!

Lori drags Harry out with her, diverting the crowd, until they finally reach the street and the cold London air. Very fresh air, compared to the stuffed environment they were just in. It makes Lori give a long deep breath, before looking around for a cab. Harry was still attached like a sloth to her arm, when she signals a car. The cab drives up to them, Lori opens the door and helps Harry get in. It crosses her mind how glad she was about how late into the night they were, making the street very deserted, with the exception of the security guard at the club door and a few people going home. It wouldn’t be nice for Harry to be seen this drunk, she knew he’d regret it in the morning.

After Harry is nicely buckled in, Lori lands a kiss on his cheek.

-          Please be…

She stops mid sentence, looking at Harry leaning his head against the door, almost sleeping.

-          …ugh – She says getting in the cab as well.

They drive up to his house, Harry sleeping on her shoulder the whole ride. When they finally arrive, she wakes him up and helps him get up to his house, as the cab waits for her. Harry takes a few minutes looking for his keys and fails at attempting to fit the key into the keyhole, before giving up and allowing Lori to open the door. They both walk in, Harry throws himself on his stomach on the couch, while Lori puts his keys on the table.

-          Are you ok, Harry?

-          Yhmnh… - he mumbles through the pillows.

-          Harry… - She says crouching next to him, with her hand on his shoulder. – Honey, are you ok? Can I go home and trust you to rehydrate?

-          No – He says turning his head to face her.

-          No??

-          No. Can you stay?

Lori looks at him staring at her with his half closed eyes.

-          Please?

-          Yeah, ok. I’ll just pay the cab, hang on.

She gets up and walks back to the cab, thanking him and paying for the drive. She goes back inside the house, locks up and finds Harry sleeping on the couch. She considers leaving him to sleep there, but his weird disposition on it could only end with him in pain tomorrow. So she gently taps him on the shoulder and helps him up to his bedroom. He sits on his bed and throws himself back. So Lori leans down to take his shoes off for him. She only hears him attempting to say “thank you” from the bed. She turns around to put his shoes by the closet and when she turns back he’s pulling his pants down with a lot of effort.

-          My god, how drunk are you?! – She whispers to herself.

She helps him finish undressing and tucks him in. Then she goes to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water, goes back to his room and places it on the nightstand, next to him. She sits at the edge of the bed, looking at him sleeping and smiles. Even drunk he had a very childlike quality to him. Before she gets up, his hand searches for hers and, once it finds it, he leans in and lays his head on her lap, making her hold her breath. She stays perfectly still for a few seconds, not knowing what to do. So she decides to stay there for a little bit, as he held her hand tight, with his head resting on her thighs.

She didn’t even know how long she was sitting there, looking at Harry sleeping like a child on her lap, before she decides to carefully slip away from under him and trying her best to put him back on his pillow without waking him up. She manages do to so, and gets up, realizing his hand is still tightly gripped around hers. She looks at it for a few seconds, before trying to untangle his fingers from hers, slowly. She’s halfway through when he grabs her hand firmly again, making her raise her eyes to him.

-          Thanks – He mumbles softly, without opening his eyes.

-          What? – She whispers.

-          Thanks for being here… - He says, still eyes closed, with a hoarse deep voice.

-          No problem, puppy. – She smiles, gently rubbing his hand with her other hand.

He smiles, letting go of her hand. She gets up and goes to the guest room. The minute she walks through the door, she realizes she was right the last time she was there, when she thought his bedroom must’ve been much bigger than this one, since now it felt very small, compared to the one she just left. Even knowing that, back then she considered this one to be gigantic.

She wakes up with a gentle tap on her shoulder. It takes a moment before she finally can gather her strength to open her eyes and look up. She sees a very scruffed Harry, clearly hangover, sitting next to her, with a cup of coffee on his hand.

-          Hey angel. – He says, giving her a tired smile.

-          Hi – She attempts to say, even though barely any sound comes out.

-          Don’t worry about waking up, you can go back to sleep…I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving already, but I left breakfast for ya in the kitchen.

-          Ok – She says before realizing what he just said – Wait…what?

-          I have a plane to catch, so…

-          Oh, ok, gimme a second to… - She interrupts him, trying to get up. Harry pushes her back down.

-          Stay. Go back to sleep. It’s Sunday, just stay in.

-          Wh…it’s your house, Harry.

-          Don’t worry. I’ll leave ya the key, so you can lock up after you leave.

She looks up at him, frowning, trying to understand what’s happening.

-          You can stay here and rest, and when I come back we can meet up so you can give me the key back. Maybe you can pick me up at the airport – He says smiling.

-          I don’t…

-          That wasn’t a question. I was just letting ya know how it’s gonna be.

Lori doesn’t necessarily agrees with it, but she’s too tired to fight what seemed to be a very certain Harry. He’s made that decision and it was clear that it would take a lot of effort to convince him otherwise. An effort that Lori knew she didn’t have in herself at that moment.

-          I’ll leave the key at the coffee table downstairs, ok?

Lori nods.

-          Ok. I’ll see ya when I come back

She nods again, half asleep. Harry leans in, gives her a kiss on her forehead and leaves the room.

After waking up and taking a shower, Lori borrows one of Harry’s shirt, after texting him for permission, so she could go straight to work. Downstairs, as promised, she finds a full breakfast neatly placed on the center island counter in the kitchen. At the center of the counter, there was a vase of flowers with a note attached to it. She takes it to read. “’When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object – H.’ Thanks for being so great last night, angel. I know I was a fucking mess. I’m very happy to have you as a friend I know I can count on. Count on me for anything! Love, H.” She smiles at the note and folds it carefully. Holding it in her hand, looking at the flowers, Lori takes a deep breath. She did have a crush on him. A big one. And it didn’t even cross her mind that there was a chance of him feeling the same way. After all he said he was glad to have her as “a friend” in the note. She places the note in her back pocket and she bags everything to eat at work. She washes the dishes and cleans the kitchen before leaving and locking up as promised.  The next few weeks, their conversations weren’t as regular as it used to be, since Harry was busy working on his new album a lot and Lori was running around the UK to cover a bunch of events for BBC, which helped Lori with her crush. It was becoming a usual thing for him to disappear for short periods of time and when Grimmy shared his theory that this time around their mutual friend disappeared because he was seeing someone, Lori felt like she finally got over him. Maybe it was not hearing from him in two weeks, maybe it wasn’t a crush after all, but the idea of Harry with someone else didn’t bothered her. Or so she thought.

It was at a Vanity Fair event in Los Angeles that she saw Harry again, creeping up to her, with a huge smile across his face. He looked completely different since last time they saw each other. His hair was very short; he had a clean shave and was much leaner than she remembered. He was wearing a salmon shirt, few buttons open, revealing his cross necklace. A black suit was over it with a flower printed silk tissue on his pocket. He looked sharp. He wraps his arms around her in a tight grip, just as you’d expect great friends to do after a long time without seeing each other.

-          Hey angel! – he says, taking a step back after a long hug.

-          Hi Har! How are you, love?

-          I’m great. Especially now, I’m so happy to see ya. – He says, grabbing her hand and pressing it against his chest.

-          Me too. It feels like forever…

-          I know!!! We barely spoke in the last few months…

-          Yeah, what’s up with that?

-          I know. It’s my fault, innit? I’ve been really busy…

-          How’s the album coming up?

-          Pretty good, we’re almost done now. I can’t wait for you to hear it…there’s some really awesome songs, I’m really proud of it.

-          That’s great Harry…

She smiles, looking at him browsing the crowd around them, still holding her hand up against his chest.

-          What you’ve been up to? – He says turning his attention back at her.

-          Working like a maniac. I’m convinced that network is trying to kill me.

-          About that… - he says getting a bit closer to her, looking down at her hands.

-          Yeah?

He holds her hand between both of his, before raising his eyes up to hers.

-          I was wondering…if maybe you could take a few days off…

-          Hum?

-          And take some pictures for me.

-          Oh? Of what? – She asked, surprised.

-          Of me.

She stares at him without reaction for a couple of seconds.

-          What?

-          For my album. I’d like it if you could help me with the art…

-          Oh!!! Really???

-          Yeah, I mean…I love your personal work, it’s very organic and beautiful. I wanted to do something like that for the cover and the rest of the album.

-          Really Harry? – She says with a bit of an emotional tone to her voice.

-          Absolutely.

-          I’d be honored. What’d you have in mind? – She says trying to wipe her teary eyes without him noticing.

-          I’m not sure yet. I thought we could brainstorm some ideas, try some stuff out…that’s why I need ya for a few days. I want to create something cool with ya…

Lori smiles, trying her best not to tear up. Harry was an outstanding artist and for him to want to trust her with something as personal as his album made her very happy. And the fact that he seemed so excited about it made it even more special. She knew how important he was to her, but the other way around she could only take a wild guess; however, this meant something for him, she meant something to him. They stay the rest of the event together, talking about the past few months, catching up, even though it didn’t take 5 minutes for them to feel like they were never kept apart by their jobs. Before they leave, they make plans to meet up to talk about their upcoming new project together.

They were talking, drinking ice tea, at the sofa at Harry’s living room, when Lori hands him a bag from Gucci.

-          Oh, did you get me something? – He says putting the glass down to take the bag.

-          Yeah, I’m 100% sure you’ll like it.

-          Confident, eh? – He says reaching in to grab the content out.

He pulls out a pink shirt with white dots and looks at it before frowning a bit.

-          I think I have a similar one…

-          Yeah, you do. But it’s not similar, it’s exactly like that.

-          Ehm…ok, that’s a good method to make sure I’ll like it…

Lori laughs.

-          It’s yours. It’s the shirt I borrowed. Your key is also there.

-          Ahhh, ok. – He says peeking into the bag and putting the shirt back in. – Nice choice, by the way…

-          It’s pink with polka dots, how could I go wrong with that one?!

-          True.

-          It’s washed and ironed, already.

-          Ok, c’mon… - He says getting up, taking the bag with him – Come with me.

-          Okey-dokey.

They walk up to his bedroom and into his closet, where he grabs a hanger to put his shirt in. Harry turns around to find Lori jaw-dropped, frozen at the entrance of the walk-in closet.

-          Did you have a stroke? – he asks, laughing.

-          I think I died and went to heaven.

Harry laughs.

-          Look at your closet, my god!! Look at all your clothes…

-          I’m even afraid to touch anything…

Harry laughs.

-          Can I snoop?

-          Yeah, sure, go ahead. – He says putting the hanger back in the rack.

She goes through his shirts folded neatly on the shelves as Harry sits on the bench in the middle of the closet.

-          Uh, I like this one… - she says running her hand on a mustard jumper. – What’s this fabric? It’s so soft…

-          Dunno… - He says getting up and grabbing the jumper, to check the tag.

-          Wait…where are your suits? – She says looking around.

She looks around realizing there were no suits of formal wear on the racks around them. Harry gets up, goes to a slide door next to the shelves they were going through, and opens it. Lori walks toward and peeks in the “secret” room in his closet. All of his formal wear was there, everything from suits, formal shirts, shoes and slim drawers with his jewelry, watches and sunglasses.

-          Holy Gucci!

Harry laughs, refolding the jumper. Lori moans running her hand at all the suits neatly hanged at the rack, while Harry leans against the wall, folding his arms over the jumper. Lori takes out of the rack one of the suits. It was black, with a very thin dark red sparkly line all around the trim. The lining was a bright red flower print. She looks at Harry, who was smugly smiling at her, which leads to the wise decision they make to have a fashion show. Harry ends up trying on a bunch of his own suits and walking through the closet making faces and posing, while Lori pretends to be stylists at the audience. After he tried every suit he owned, they end up sitting on the floor of the closet, going through his jewelry. He tries one of Lori’s rings on his pinky.

-          Oh. Fits… - He says.

-          I’ve had that one for…15 years I think.

-          Shit. I was planning on stealing it…

-          Were you now? – She says, laughing – It’s ok, you can keep it.

-          What? No, I was joking.

-          Keep it. I like the idea of you prancing around with my ring.

-          I like that in your head I’m always prancing. – Says Harry laughing.

-          Yep. In my imagination you don’t even know how to walk. You’re either running or Jaggering.

-          Jaggering? – Says Harry through a laugh.

Lori get up mimicking Mick Jagger’s moves. Harry laughs.

-          That’s how I walk?

-          Yes. Or at least you should…it should be your runway walk.

-          I’ll remember that if I ever do a fashion show.

-          Like you would ever do that.

-          Of course I would. I’ll be getting a call from Victoria’s Secret any minute now…

Lori laughs.

-          Oh, I have something for ya. – he says getting up and running to his bedroom.

Lori gets up and follows him.

He grabs out of the drawer in his nightstand a tiny black notepad and gives it to her. She takes it, a bit confused, and opens it. There was a bunch of scribbles with Harry’s handwriting in it. At least 5 pages of it, with the occasional doodles around the edges of the pages.

-          Don’t mind the drawings, I tend to doodle when I’m bored…

-          Ok… - she says smiling and going through the notepad.

“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful”, “For myself I am too heavy, and for you too light”, “I wish photographs were physical spaces, like tunnels; that you could crawl inside them and go back”, “And remember this, that if you’ve been hated, you’ve also been loved”, “We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered”, “Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now”, “She had wild eyes, slightly insane. She also carried an overload of compassion that was real enough and which obviously cost her something”, “Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss”, “What do you say when the feelings don’t fit into words?”. That was just a few of the dozens of notes Harry had written on the notepad. Lori takes a deep breath before looking up at Harry.

-          I didn’t forget, I just didn’t have time to send them…so I just wrote it down every time I remember one or saw a quote I liked, so I could send it to ya later. But it took me so long to do so that I decided it was easier making this for ya.

-          This is so sweet.

-          I agree. My girlfriend was a bit jealous of it to be frank, but…

Lori feels a familiar punch in the stomach, as she looks up at Harry.

-          Your what? – She can’t help but ask him

-          Ah, yeah…well…I’ve been seeing someone…I’m not sure if I can call her girlfriend yet…but yeah…

-          Oh… - She says without hiding the disappointed tone in her voice.

-          What? – He says, noticing the tone.

-          N-nothing…I just…why didn’t you tell me? – She lied.

-          We didn’t talk that much…and to be honest I didn’t know if that was the kind of thing I could talk to ya about…

-          You can talk about anything with me, Harry.

-          Oh…yeah? – He says putting both hands in his pockets.

-          Yeah…of course… - She says pondering for a bit, looking down at the notepad.

-          That’s good to know…

-          I can understand why she’d be jealous tho…this is very personal…

-          Well you were my friend before we started going out, so…and one thing has nothing to do with the other…I can be personal with my friends.

Lori looks up at him again.

-          I mean…right?

-          Yeah, sure. So… - She says closing the notepad. She looks at it for a second before looking back at Harry – How is she like? What does she look like? Tell me everything.

Harry laughs.

-          Nah, I’m good...you’ll end up meeting her…if I think she’s worth it.

Lori smiles.

-          Not everyone deserves being introduced to my friends, you know.

-          You introduced me to Jeff… - She says without thinking, regretting immediately.

-          Yeah but we weren’t seeing each other…I introduced one friend to another…

-          Oh, right, ok. – She says quickly, glad he didn’t catch her faux pas.

The rest of the night, all through dinner, Lori felt a crushing pressure in her stomach, like she had eaten a pound of cement. She struggled to stay as normal as she could with Harry, but when he invited her to stay for a movie, she made up an excuse and left, going back to her hotel. Lying in bed, wrapped in the towel and hair still wet from the shower, she stared at the painting at the wall, above the bed, for a long time. She did not see this coming. She was certain she was over him, but the punch in her stomach finding out he was with someone, serious enough for him to call her girlfriend, told her otherwise. Not only she had a crush on him, she loved him. Realizing that made her eyes water and, as she takes a deep breath, they start to roll down the side of her face, surrounding her ears and finally finding the linen sheets under her. Harry was the best friend she’s had in so long, how could she let this happen? How could she allow herself to feel that way about him? Most importantly, how didn’t she realize that this was happening? She falls asleep with these questions burning in her head.

[muse-stellium]

Omg hi! Yeah, it said I got an ask but it didn't actually show up in the inbox? Idk if it was just a one time thing or what but I am always up for talking more astrology nonsense lol. I'm just gonna put it below the cut because it got a lil long 💜💙💚

First let me explain that 1) I am not an expert on astrology by any means. I know quite a bit, but I definitely still have a lot to learn. And 2) I am a big fan of zodiac decans over just the typical 12 sun signs in astrology. They're not too commonly known about / used , so if you don't know what they are this site explains it pretty well, but basically when astrology was invented they separated each of the zodiacs into 3 decans of 10° / or around 10 days to explain why one person born under a zodiac might have vast differences in personality from another of the same zodiac, and may share more traits of someone under another of their triplicity (element). With my experience they tend to be more accurate than just grouping all of one sign under that zodiac so insert marge simpson I just think they're neat here.

So yes! Jin. I've seen some people say his birthday is the same as mine, March 13th, making him a Pisces - Scorpio decan. And as someone who would share that with him? I personally don't see it. The main characteristics of Pisces of all 3 decans is "Sensitivity" and "Emotionality", and granted this could absolutely present itself in the whole silent brooding thing Jin has going on, but there is no way a Pisces of any decan could start a world war and be the cause of death for countless innocent lives without there being a fuck ton of tears behind the scenes. And Nina putting up with that????? HA- Nah. There's no way they would've gotten as close as they did if that were the case. If there's any traits here that I could see, it's that Pisces - Scorpio's are usually said to be more spiritual, more instinctive, and more stubborn than Pisces of the first 2 decans? — Personally however, I have seen others claim his birthday is actually August 15th, which would make him a Leo - Aries decan instead, and that I can see ten times more than him being a Pisces. I don't know if I 100% believe that either, maybe 85%? But I do get big Leo vibes from him. And it doesn't help that 3rd decan Leo's are sometimes described as being "Diabolical with a capital D in pursuing their goals". or that when fighting for the same cause, Leo's & Aquarius can I quote: "turn down entire governments and use their incredible force to change anything in the world." 👀

Kunimitsu on the other hand! The popular opinion seems to be that her birthday is August 25th, making her a Virgo - Virgo. And honestly? I'm kind of tied. I absolutely 100% believe she is a Virgo, the only thing I can't figure out is if she's actually a decan 1 Virgo, or a decan 2 Virgo ( Virgo - Capricorn) which would make her birthday somewhere between Sept 3rd - Sept 13th instead. And the main reason is that those of the 2nd decan can at times especially be known for needing to see their goals come into fruition. If they don't, then they have a much greater chance of just throwing in the towel than other Virgo decans, which to me could help explain Kunimitsu's sudden retirement. — However I also see a bit of 1st decan Virgo in her (which, kind of a given, Virgo - Virgo you're gonna see hints of it in all 3), the thing that throws me off is that first decan Virgo's are usually known for being modest annnd I genuinely don't know if I see much of that with Kunimitsu? With her and Nina originally being the same character and still sharing many traits, I feel like she might have a similar ego? Perhaps not as big, but I can't decide if modest would be the right way to describe her. — So basically, 100% Virgo, but of which decan? Who knows. Either way I would believe August 25th is her canon birthday, and it's always possible that when creating her they researched Virgo's but just didn't go too deep with it for all the details to match up, given how uncommonly decans are used and known about.

Anyway! Otherwise I've only really thought about a few other characters in regards to zodiacs, and this is already a bit too long lol so I don't want to really pull everything off the top of my head here. But if you want to send in a few more names I more than welcome you to and I can definitely give thoughts! Thanks again for letting me talk about two of my hyper fixations in one lovely anon ;v; 💜💙💚

[directlyjewelrysupplier]

History of Heart Jewelry

History of Heart Jewelry

Heart jewelry dates back to the early Middle Ages. The heart started to pop into jewelry and art scenes, and at this time, the incorporation of heart designs was also seen in family crests for the royal family. Between the 15th and the 16th centuries, the heart imageries exploded into silver and gold jewelry, and they were worn mostly by aristocrats, as well as the upper class – pretty much everyone who could afford this kind of jewelry at the time.

Then, by early in the 20th Century, King Edward VIII made this kind of jewelry even more popular as he showcased his love for Wallis Simpson through the beautiful heart jewelry. His relationship was documented in the press and across the whole world, and though Edward VIII abdicated the throne for love, later on, the heart jewelry stuck around and has been around for a long time.

What do hearts mean in jewelry?

The first piece of jewelry with a heart dates back to King Edward VIII when he gifted Ms. Simpson the Cartier Heart Charm necklace inscribed with a beautiful Blaise Pascal’s quote – The Heart Has Its Reasons. Eventually, this would be stuck upon jewelers and lovers of jewelry, something that has dominated the fashion and jewelry scene for a long while now.

The reason for the popularity of heart jewelry has to do with the fact that the heart is the core of human anatomy – it is, after all, the organ responsible for pumping blood to the body’s extremities while also keeping you alive. So, if, for example, you donate blood, you are literally giving away a part of yourself to another soul. And in the romantic sense, giving a heart to someone else in the romantic sense means that you will be offering a part of yourself to the person you love. The heart-inspired jewelry represents you giving that person you love a bit of your heart, and whenever they wear that piece of jewelry, they will be reminded of the love you have for them and the love you share.

Over centuries, therefore, the heart’s found a way into bracelets, pendants, rings, and charms, among other kinds of jewelry. And if you consider yourself crazy in love, you may have seen or even bought the heart-shaped padlocks that have been used to signify the love shared between two people and also the life-long commitment they make to each other. You’ll still notice the heart-shaped padlocks in the jewelry scene today, not to mention the infamous chain link fences in many parts of the world where you get to write the name of that person you love at the padlock’s back, lock it to the fence, then throw the key away. This might not be your thing, but at its heart, this tradition is meant to signify and honor the love you have for that person, and more importantly, the metaphorical and actual significance of the fact that the love you have for that person wouldn’t be given away or unlocked for anyone else.

Now that we have the basics out of the way and we understand what different kinds of jewelry mean let’s take a look at the different types of heart necklaces and what they mean.

Heartbeat Necklace Meaning

Different meanings could be derived from the heartbeat necklace, but this necklace is common with lovers and beloved family members. For most people, this necklace is a representation of the amazing feeling that you get when you find someone who just gets you. Someone who gets your heart, and you don’t have to pretend because you share this very genuine kind of love and compatibility: someone who understands you and someone who will always have you in their heart.

But that is not all – the heartbeat necklace is also quite symbolic when used as a reminder to self for you to always come back to your heart’s wisdom and to be able to remember and extend compassion not just to yourself but to others. In meditation and yoga, for example, the heartbeats in a slow, steady, and smooth rhythm, coming into a deep coherence that brings you a sense of calm and wholeness.

This affects your sense of wellbeing and also that of the people you interact with. And because the heart is one of the most remarkable electromagnetic fields, when your heart meets the right heart or when your hearts’ fields meet, you get each other because you share emotions, whether happiness or joys, fears or sorrows. This heartbeat necklace, therefore, enhances your level of coherence and awareness in your world.

Heartbeat Necklace Details📷📷

[churingajewelryrainee]

History of Heart Jewelry

Heart necklace jewelry dates back to the early Middle Ages. The heart started to pop into jewelry and art scenes, and at this time, the incorporation of heart designs was also seen in family crests for the royal family. Between the 15th and the 16th centuries, the heart imageries exploded into silver and gold jewelry, and they were worn mostly by aristocrats, as well as the upper class – pretty much everyone who could afford this kind of jewelry at the time.

Then, by early in the 20th Century, King Edward VIII made this kind of jewelry even more popular as he showcased his love for Wallis Simpson through the beautiful heart jewelry. His relationship was documented in the press and across the whole world, and though Edward VIII abdicated the throne for love, later on, the heart jewelry stuck around and has been around for a long time.

What do hearts mean in jewelry?

The first piece of jewelry with a heart dates back to King Edward VIII when he gifted Ms. Simpson the Cartier Heart Charm necklace inscribed with a beautiful Blaise Pascal’s quote – The Heart Has Its Reasons. Eventually, this would be stuck upon jewelers and lovers of jewelry, something that has dominated the fashion and jewelry scene for a long while now.

The reason for the popularity of heart jewelry has to do with the fact that the heart is the core of human anatomy – it is, after all, the organ responsible for pumping blood to the body’s extremities while also keeping you alive. So, if, for example, you donate blood, you are literally giving away a part of yourself to another soul. And in the romantic sense, giving a heart to someone else in the romantic sense means that you will be offering a part of yourself to the person you love. The heart-inspired jewelry represents you giving that person you love a bit of your heart, and whenever they wear that piece of jewelry, they will be reminded of the love you have for them and the love you share.

Over centuries, therefore, the heart’s found a way into bracelets, pendants, rings, and charms, among other kinds of jewelry. And if you consider yourself crazy in love, you may have seen or even bought the heart-shaped padlocks that have been used to signify the love shared between two people and also the life-long commitment they make to each other. You’ll still notice the heart-shaped padlocks in the jewelry scene today, not to mention the infamous chain link fences in many parts of the world where you get to write the name of that person you love at the padlock’s back, lock it to the fence, then throw the key away. This might not be your thing, but at its heart, this tradition is meant to signify and honor the love you have for that person, and more importantly, the metaphorical and actual significance of the fact that the love you have for that person wouldn’t be given away or unlocked for anyone else.

Now that we have the basics out of the way and we understand what different kinds of jewelry mean let’s take a look at the different types of heart necklaces and what they mean.

Heartbeat Necklace Meaning

Different meanings could be derived from the heartbeat necklace, but this necklace is common with lovers and beloved family members. For most people, this necklace is a representation of the amazing feeling that you get when you find someone who just gets you. Someone who gets your heart, and you don’t have to pretend because you share this very genuine kind of love and compatibility: someone who understands you and someone who will always have you in their heart.

But that is not all – the heartbeat necklace is also quite symbolic when used as a reminder to self for you to always come back to your heart’s wisdom and to be able to remember and extend compassion not just to yourself but to others. In meditation and yoga, for example, the heartbeats in a slow, steady, and smooth rhythm, coming into a deep coherence that brings you a sense of calm and wholeness.

This affects your sense of wellbeing and also that of the people you interact with. And because the heart is one of the most remarkable electromagnetic fields, when your heart meets the right heart or when your hearts’ fields meet, you get each other because you share emotions, whether happiness or joys, fears or sorrows. This heartbeat necklace, therefore, enhances your level of coherence and awareness in your world.

Heartbeat Necklace Details📷📷